Rev. David Holwick W First Baptist Church Ledgewood, New Jersey July 6, 1997 1 Peter 3:1-6 A QUIET REVOLUTION ================== I. An embarrassing topic? A. Last sermon, slaves, this one, wives. Yikes! [MEN next week] B. Rise of women important in our generation. 1) My grandmother got the right to vote when she was 24 years old. Yet 55 years later, not too much had changed. In the movie "Apollo 13" a desperate emergency threatens a mission to the moon in the 1970's. Mission Control swings into action - and in the huge room, not a woman is to be seen. In the whole movie, you have the astronauts' wives and one female reporter. Back then a woman could also be a teacher, a secretary, or a nurse. Many still are - but so many other opportunities have opened up. 2) Some are slow to catch on. Tama Starr put together a book composed of put-downs of women through the ages. Here are some of the quotes: Martin Luther, leader of the Reformation. 1538: "Eloquence in women shouldn't be praised; it is more fitting for them to lisp and stammer." Napoleon, 1817: "Nature intended women to be our slaves. ... What a mad idea to demand equality for women!" Rudyard Kipling, author of Jungle Book; 1885: "A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke." Henry Miller, American playwright; 1975: "I enjoy women as a breed, like a dog. ... I don't mean that in a derogatory way." #1678 -2- II. The position of the Bible in all this. A. Many consider the Bible to be a throwback to stone age views on women. 1) Today's passage is one of the doozies. a) Sarah is even said to call her husband "Master." b) Modern feminists erase "master, lord, king and father" from church hymns. 2) Reject passage as old-fashioned prejudice? B. This passage contains eternal wisdom from God. 1) Contrary to modern ideas it is not sexist, anti-woman, and does not seek to keep women down and repress them. 2) Rather, it seeks to elevate them from the status of their fallen sinful nature, which is: a) In opposition to God, b) In opposition to their husbands, c) And overly concerned about outward expressions of false beauty. 3) Today's seeks to bring out those qualities which are truly feminine and pleasing to God. III. Submit! A. Submission is something every Christian does. 1) Paul says we should submit to one another. 2) Submission does not imply inferiority. a) Even Jesus is said to be in submission. 1 Cor 15:28 b) It shows respect for the divine order. 3) Peter makes it the key instruction in each relationship he discusses. a) Becoming a Christian should radically influence a person's behavior in every relationship, especially in their family. b) We should be aware that God's eye is upon us, and desire what is valuable in God's sight. -3- B. Every team needs a captain. 1) Every family needs a head, and it should be husband. 2) Some husbands are hard. a) Pagan family envisaged, where wife converts. b) Husband doesn't just not believe, but "disobeys," a stronger term. 1> He deliberately sets himself against the truth. 3) This doesn't get us off the hook. a) We should be Christian, and act like it, even when others give us grief. b) God has a mission for us. IV. Evangelism begins at home. A. Men have always been the deadbeats in the faith department. 1) If your husband is unsaved, what is your response? a) That you can go to church without bothering him?? b) That he would be saved?? 2) Win him over - to Christ, and to yourself. B. How husbands can be influenced: 1) Nagging and threats. John Chrysostom said this almost 1,600 years ago: A wife should never nag her husband: "You lazy coward, you have no ambition! Look at our relatives and neighbors; they have plenty of money. Their wives have far more than I do." Let no wife say any such thing. "But why should she endure poverty?" some will ask. If she is poor, let her console herself by thinking of those who are much poorer still. If she really loved her husband, she would never speak to him like that, but would value having him close to her more than all the gold in the world. #3351 -4- 2) Coldness and withheld affection. 3) Love and example. a) "Silent witness." 1> Back up with words later? b) Saint Augustine's mom witnessed to her husband for 25 years, and he converted just before he died. c) In West Lafayette, Ohio, Jeanne Stewart faithfully prayed for her husband to be saved. Early in my ministry there, he was saved. And he credited his wife's love for his decision. d) A Bolivian minister, discouraged by lack of men in church, saw himself as a failure. Then it dawned on him that the women in his church had a huge mission opportunity. He emphasized the importance of loving their husbands into God's kingdom, and dozens were saved. V. What makes a woman beautiful. A. Society has strong views on beauty. 1) $$$ in cosmetics and silicone. 2) Starts with ear piercing, then nose piercing, then lips, tongues, and worse and worse. 3) It's not just advertisers on Madison Avenue - an experiment with babies showed they stared longer at pretty faces. 4) When asked if a women is good-looking, the most cutting thing a man can say is, "Well, she has a nice personality.." B. Beauty is inward, not outward. 1) Bible passages on cosmetics: Isaiah 3:16-24, Paul, Peter a) Prohibition? 1> Early Christians. 2> Mennonites. (friend with wedding band) -5- b) Cosmetics not evil, but off focus. 1> Values are in view. See yourself the way God does. 2> Inner self = "inner man of the heart." 3> The external stuff will wrinkle, fade, and droop. Only the inner stuff can get prettier. 2) Be beautiful inside. a) Purity. b) Reverence. 1> Your actions are determined by reverence for God. c) Gentle, quiet spirit. 1> Not mousy, but quiet strength. VI. A sterling example. A. Sarah, Abraham's wife, shows the way. 1) Called Abraham her master. 2) Doesn't mean she was like a slave, but she acknowledged his leadership in the family. a) Genesis shows she could be very independent-minded. b) Her hope was in God, not Abraham. c) But she submitted to her husband. B. Necessary corrections. 1) Submission doesn't have to mean secondary status. 2) If God used a "chain of command," and only spoke to women through their husbands, consider this: He called the Virgin Mary directly, and did not send her call through Joseph. #1524 C. Do right and don't be fearful. 1) Accept God's plan for your life. 2) Men, recognize inner beauty of your wife. =========================================================================== TEXT 1PE 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 1PE 3:2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 1PE 3:3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 1PE 3:4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1PE 3:5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 1PE 3:6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. =========================================================================== ILLUSTRATIONS CATEGORY: Feminism, Patriarchs, Equality, Deborah, Huldah, Phoebe, Authority, Leadership, Chain Of Command, Hierarchy, Mary ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ TEXT: Judg 4:4-9, 1 Sam 25:3,23f, 2 Kg 22:14-20, Luke 1:27,46-55, Rom 16:1f, 1 Cor 14:34f, Gal 3:26F, Eph 5:22-24, Col 3:18, 1 Tim 2:11-14, 1 Pet 3:1-6 Number: 1524 Hard copy: SOURCE: Christianity Today TITLE: Who Invented Patriarchy? AUTHOR: Gretchen Gaebelein Hull PAGE: 57 DATE: 10/20/89 Typist: ENTERED: 6/15/91 DATE_USED: ILLUSTRATION__________________________________________________________________ : The daughter of Frank Gabelein defends biblical feminism. If God used a "chain of command," he would not have called Mary directly, but would have sent her call through Joseph. Female leadership in the Bible is not an exception to the rule. #1524 * CATEGORY: Husbands & Wives, Marriage, Consideration, Ambition, Advice, Esteem, Love, Dissatisfaction, Nagging, Complain, Words, Honor ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ TEXT: Judg 16:16, Prov 5:18f, Prov 12:4, Prov 18:22, Prov 19:13,14, Prov 21:9, Prov 25:24, Prov 27:15, Prov 31:10-31, Eccl 9:9, Jer 35:8, Hos 3:1, Mal 2:15, 1 Cor 7:2f, 1 Cor 7:33, Eph 5:22-28,33, Col 3:18f, 1 Tim 3:2-11, 1 Pet 3:1-8 Number: 3351 Hard copy: y SOURCE: Discipleship Journal, #89 TITLE: How Should Husbands Love Their Wives? AUTHOR: John Chrysostom (C. 347-407) PAGE: 118 DATE: 9/1/95 Typist: ENTERED: 9/12/95 DATE_USED: ILLUSTRATION__________________________________________________________________ : The great Orthodox preach John Chrysostom (c. 347-407), although an unmarried priest, gave great advice for married couples. We should love our wives not so much for their sake, as for Christ's sake. What if you devote the day to your work and your friends, and the evening to your wife; but she is still not satisfied, but is jealous for more of your time? Don't be annoyed by her complaints; she loves you, she is not behaving absurdly - her complaints come from her fervent affection for you. A wife should never nag her husband: "You lazy coward, you have no ambition! Look at our relatives and neighbors; they have plenty of money. Their wives have far more than I do." Let no wife say any such thing. "But why should she endure poverty?" some will ask. If she is poor, let her console herself by thinking of those who are much poorer still. If she really loved her husband, she would never speak to him like that, but would value having him close to her more than all the gold in the world. Her husband must never exercise his authority by insulting and abusing her. Instead, he should show true nobility of spirit, and patiently remind her that in the wisdom of heaven, poverty is no evil. Then she will stop complaining. Remove from you lives shameful, immodest, and Satanic music, and don't associate with people who enjoy such profligate entertainment. It never profits anyone to talk too much. Whenever you give your wife advice, always begin by telling her how much you love her. Nothing will persuade her so well to admit the wisdom of your words as her assurance that you are speaking to her with sincere affection. Show her that you value her company, and prefer being at home to being out. Esteem her in the presence of your friends and children. Praise and show admiration for her good acts; and if she ever does anything foolish, advise her patiently. Pray together at home and go to church; when you come back home, let each ask the other the meaning of the [Scripture] readings and prayers. Finally, never call her by her name alone, but with terms of endearment, honor, and love. If you honor her, she won't need honor from others; she won't desire praise from others if she enjoys the praise that comes from you. Prefer her before all others, both for her beauty and her discernment, and praise her. What sort of person do you think the children of such parents will be? Will they not eventually be the recipients of countless blessings as well? For generally the children acquire the character of their parents, are formed in the mold of their parent's love, talk in the same fashion, and work for the same ends. If we order our lives in this way and diligently study the Scriptures, we will find lessons to guide us in everything we need! #3351 * CATEGORY: Family, Husband & Wife, Authority, Love, Affection, Relationships ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ TEXT: Eph 5:21-23, 1 Pet 3:1-2, 1 Pet 3:7-8,11, Phil 2:2-4 Number: 1225 Hard copy: SOURCE: Bibical Evangelist TITLE: Hints For A Heavenly Household AUTHOR: Martha Tyler PAGE: 12 DATE: 7/1/90 Typist: ds ENTERED: 8/21/90 DATE_USED: ILLUSTRATION__________________________________________________________________ : Hints for a heavenly household: 1. Authority 2. Appreciation 3. Adaptability 4. Acceptance 5. Availability 6. Affection 7. Attitude #1225 * CATEGORY: Husband & Wife, Marriage, Relationships, Submission, Love ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ TEXT: 1 Pet 3:1-8, Eph 5:22-33 Number: 1084 Hard copy: SOURCE: Biblical Evangelist TITLE: Instruction In The Marriage Relationship AUTHOR: Dr. Joseph S. "Preacher" Brown PAGE: 1 DATE: 1/1/90 Typist: ENTERED: 1/8/90 DATE_USED: ILLUSTRATION__________________________________________________________________ : Gives homey view on Bible's advice for marriage. Phil Donahue had 3 Christian couples on who believed in submission and they were ridiculed. But the Bible's instruction is true. #1084 * CATEGORY: Women, Husband & Wife ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ TEXT: Eph 5:22-24, 1 Pet 3:1-6, 1 Sam 25:3-41 Number: 1745 Hard copy: SOURCE: William Barclay TITLE: (From Sermon Of November 28, 1982) AUTHOR: PAGE: DATE: Typist: ENTERED: 1/11/92 DATE_USED: 1/12/92 ILLUSTRATION__________________________________________________________________ : In the Greek world, wives were respected but totally isolated. 1) Famous philosopher Demosthenes laid down this rule: "We have ladies of the evening for pleasure, we have mistresses for daily co-habitation; we have wives for the purpose of having children legitimately and of having a faithful guardian for our household." 2) Philosopher Socrates shows how companionship was not valued: "Is there anyone to whom you entrust more serious matters than to your wife - And is there anyone to whom you talk less?" B. Among Jews, wives fared a little better. 1) But they still had a low view of marriage. 2) Man's prayer: "Thank you that you have not made me a Gentile, a slave, or a woman." 3) In Jewish law, women were not persons, but things; they were absolutely their husbands' possession. [1745] * 1 PETER 3:1-6 "God's Plan for Woman" AUGUST 4, 1996 Allow me to read some interesting excerpts as we begin this morning. This first one is from a Internet web site for spiritual women. Women's spirituality in all its forms: Jewish, Christian, Earth religion, etc. Is primarily feminist in nature. While most mainstream religions have been heavily patriarchal -- God language usually masculine with customs and traditions that either neglect women, put them down or disadvantage them in some way; women's spirituality has arisen as a means for women to connect to the divine on their own terms. It focuses on egalitarianism between the sexes, the immanence of God, a sense of partnership with the divine and honor for all of nature. This page is for those women who have felt that traditional religion has not adequately addressed their needs or enabled them to participate fully in religious life. Within Evangelical Christianity, sadly, there does not seem to be much feminist activity here; and indeed much hostility toward feminism and women taking positions of power. Although there are some women in the ministry, the focus is on traditional roles for women with men as the primary authority in the home. And if that wasn't scary enough... United Methodists participated in the production of the National Council of Churches inclusive lectionary, which removed masculine references to God; addressed God as "Father and Mother"; deleted passages which instruct the wife to submit to the husband; changed many words, such as "son" to "child," "king" to "ruler," "kingdom" to "realm"; and added the names of wives to the O.T. genealogies. NCC lectionary committee member Sharon Ringe of the Methodist Theological School in Delaware, Ohio, said, "Much hurt is caused by oppressive speech." In 1984 the UMC Women's Division issued an alternative to the Lord's Prayer: "Our Mother/Father, who is everywhere, Holy be your names. May your new age come, May your will be done. In this and in every time and place. Meet our needs each day and Forgive our failure to love, As we forgive this same failure in others. Save us in hard times, and Lead us into your ways of love. For yours is the wholeness and the power, And the loving forever. Amen." And finally, a quote from one of their feminist pastors. Methodist "Pastor" Kim Smith, speaking before a women's conference in 1985 said Paul held "what we would consider sexist views of women." She claimed that Paul was a man of his time and that he never meant his statements about women to become the basis for the teaching of the entire church. Isn't that amazing. I never knew that. I wonder what God meant then by inspiring it. Hmmm? I guess that really shortens my sermon then this morning. I guess God didn't mean to have Peter write the verses we will look at today. And even if he did back then, these things certainly don't apply today. "You don't actually believe that do you? You aren't actually going to preach that we accept and believe this are you?" Please turn with me to 1 Peter 3:1-6. As we read this, bear in mind, as Paul wrote to Timothy, All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness. What comes from the pages of your Bible are the very Words of God. And as such we cannot brush away that which we don't like, or that which seems too harsh, or that which society says is no longer valid. Follow along with me. Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of yourselves. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. Peter has been telling us about Christian conduct and submission. We should be holy before God. We should live excellent lives before the world around us. We should submit to all authorities, including servants to masters, and now, wives to husbands. It is how Christians are to behave. It might not be the way the world behaves, but that is good, because, remember we are aliens living here for only a short time. God lays out here through Peter His plan for the Christian woman. I see 5 aspects of that plan in this passage. They are, I. Their Role II. Their Lifestyle III. Their Appearance IV. Their Faith V. Their Rewards I. Their Role Look at verse 1.Peter picks back up with the theme of submission that he began in chapter 2 verse 13. That word there submit is the same word also found in verse 18 in reference to servants and masters, and it is the same word he uses here in verse one. As we said before, it is the word hupotasso which had military references, such as a private being in submission to his sergeant. It means to willingly subject oneself to another. And, just as the sergeant isn't a better person than the private, simply because of his rank, neither is the woman a lessor person than her husband. They are equal in value, but have different roles. God has established the role of the woman as being under the authority of her husband. Like it or not, that is the way it is. And unless you think this is an isolated instance of this teaching in the Bible, I can direct you to 1 Corinthians 11:3 and 14:34, Ephesians 5:22-24,33, Colossians 3:18, 1 Timothy 2:11-12, Titus 2:3-6 and even more that say almost verbatim what Peter says here. You see God is pretty consistent, and when he says something more than once, there is a reason -- He's afraid we might not get it. And, just as Peter commanded us to be submissive to all authorities, no matter their worthiness, and to be submissive to our masters, even if they are evil, likewise wives must be submissive to even unbelieving husbands. Look at verse 1. Submission to your husband, even if he is an unbeliever is expected and has its purpose in God's plan. Wives, you show your love for your husband when you are submissive to him. You show your sinful nature when you rebel against him or attempt to usurp his authority. As Peter has already said, you are not only rejecting your husband's authority, but also God's. II. Their Lifestyle Peter also encourages a certain lifestyle as part of God's plan for woman. Look at verse 2. He mentions the powerful effect that a woman's purity and reverence can have. That is God's expectation for a woman's lifestyle. Her behavior is to be pure or chaste as the NASB says. The woman of God is to be characterized by her holy and pure life. Their lives should also reflect reverence for their husband. Literally the word here is "fear," which helps us to understand how deep that reverence and respect should be -- not merely for appearance sake, but a deeply held respect for the authority God has given to her husband. Again, as we will discuss, there are powerful incentives for this behavior. III. Their Appearance How many times have you stumbled across this scripture and wondered if you were doing something wrong? I have heard it used (or rather abused) to prohibit the wearing of jewelry and all sorts of stuff. But that isn't Peter's point. God has a plan for a woman's appearance. If there is anything I can't stand, it is overstated "beauty." Big gaudy earrings and necklaces and bracelets and rings and caked on makeup and glittery dresses and handbags and 5 foot tall hairsprayed do's. I usually think that if you have to work that hard to make yourself beautiful, then you don't understand what beauty is. Unfortunately though, our society has an over fascination with outward physical beauty. But we aren't any different than society in Peter's day. There were problems then too with women trying to make themselves beautiful and attractive to men by wearing jewelry and fancy clothes. But in the beautiful words of verse 4 here, Peter tells us where true beauty comes from. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. You see jewelry corrodes. Sometimes if it is cheap it can even turn your skin green. Clothes get old and dirty and go out of style. Hair turns gray and becomes brittle. And silicone...well it might even kill you. We have become so fascinated with outward adornment. We have raised a generation of kids who pierce their noses and tattoo their bodies. Our magazine racks are filled to overflowing with magazines which serve as temples to our idolatry of clothes and fashion. We have totally lost touch with what true beauty is. It isn't about diet pills or wonder bras or hair dye or designer jeans. It is about the inner self, or hidden person of the heart. It is not about who you are on the outside, but rather who you are on the inside. Gentleness and a quiet submissive spirit are qualities that are imperishable, and they are pleasing in the sight of God. That doesn't mean you can't look nice. It doesn't mean that jewelry is forbidden. But these outward adornments should not be our focus and they should not distract us from the inner beauty and the real person. What does it mean to be gentle and have a quiet spirit. Go to a NOW convention or rally. Then do the opposite. Gentleness and quietness are difficult for some, but it is part of the attitude of a submissive heart. Anger and a demanding tone are part of a heart giving in to sin. And, remember that God is not impressed by the outside, but rather looks into the heart. IV. Their Faith Next there is God's plan for woman's faith. It takes faith to be obedient. Peter has just reminded us how faithful Christ was on the cross for us. We can have faith in him and in God. No matter what the circumstances are. Faith in the midst of government persecution. Faith in the midst of working for an evil master. Faith in the midst of living with an unbelieving husband. Peter's sites examples of faithful women. He tells us in verse 5 that they were holy. They also hoped in the Lord. They trusted God and his commands, and so they were submissive to their husbands and obeyed them. Sometimes even when it might mean public humiliation. They worked on the inner beauty. They had a faith in God and his plan for them. They did not fear the circumstances around them. Their faith in God's plan allowed them to overcome their fear. Just as Abraham was the symbolic father of the faithful, his wife, Sarah, was the symbolic mother of the submissive. Because Sarah had no fear of obeying God, she had no fear of what her husband, or any other person or circumstance, might do to her. God will take care of the consequences when His children are obedient to Him. This submissive and obedient and quiet and humble spirit has its rewards, and those are also part of God's plan for woman. V. Their Rewards Look at how God rewards those who are faithful to his will. Go back up to verse 1. Peter tells us that if a woman is married to an unbeliever, rather than fearing the situation or constantly nagging and badgering her husband, she can be instrumental in his salvation. The witness of actions is so important and has it's promised rewards. The second reward is found in verse 4. If a woman focuses her attention on her heart and her inward beauty, God will be pleased. Literally it is precious to God. The third reward is from verse 6. By being submissive and gentle and more concerned with the inner self, it proves your position in Christ as a daughter of Sarah. You can be assured of the promise of eternal life. This passage, and the other like it in the Bible, contrary to contemporary ideas are not sexist, anti-woman, and do not seek to keep women down and repress them. Rather, it seeks to elevate them from the status of their fallen sinful nature, which is in opposition to God, opposition to their husbands and overly concerned about outward trinkets of false beauty. It seeks to bring out those qualities which are truly feminine and pleasing to God. Quietness, submissiveness, gentleness, faithfulness, and holiness. Husbands, don't think you are off the hook entirely. We will get to you next week. But women, how do you measure up to God's plan for you? Do these qualities sound like who you are? What would your husband think? What would your children say, what example are you leaving for them? What would those outside your family say? Women, you are a wonderful creation of God's. Created with a plan and purpose that when fulfilled yields wonderful eternal rewards. Reject the world's understanding and aggressive denial of God's order. Commit yourself to God's plan. Men, recognize the inner beauty of your wife. Compliment her on things of the heart, more than the things which have to do with the superficial and exterior. Appreciate your wife's submissive heart and thank her for her gentle and quiet spirit. Encourage her in her faith and obedience to God. And, men, come back next week for more instructions.