1 Samuel 25:2-3      You Need a Strong Woman

Rev. David Holwick   F                               The Life of David, #6

First Baptist Church                                 Valentine Sunday

Ledgewood, New Jersey

February 9, 2014

1 Samuel 25:2-3


YOU NEED A STRONG WOMAN



  I. The battle of the sexes.

      A. The Bible's view gets a lot of flack these days.

          1) Men are supposed to rule over women.


             Several years before the first Gulf War, Barbara Walters

                did a story on gender roles in Kuwait.

             She observed that women traditionally walked about 10 feet

                behind their husbands.


             Walters returned to Kuwait after the war and discovered

                men were now walking several yards behind their wives.


             Always the dogged investigator, Walters approached a woman

                on the street and asked for an explanation.

             "This is marvelous," she said.  "What enabled women here to

                achieve this reversal of roles?"


             The woman replied, "Land mines!"

                                                                    #5560


          2) There's some truth to our impression of the Bible's teaching.

              a) It does have the principles of headship and submission.

              b) But many passages in the Bible are far more nuanced.


      B. Abigail is the kind of girl you want.

          1) She is not your stereotypical mild and meek push-over.

          2) She is an expert at manipulating men, but in a good way.

              a) Many men need to be manipulated for their own benefit.

              b) She stayed within her gender role and was still a big

                    success.

          3) Above all, Abigail followed God above all else.

              a) She never compromised her principles and was a godly

                    influence on powerful men.

              b) Women, and men, would do well to emulate her.


II. An irresistible force and an immovable object.

      A. David is living on the margins.

          1) He and his men scrounge an existence in a desolate region.

          2) They are well-behaved and honor their neighbors.

          3) But they have plenty of firepower if they need it.


      B. Nabal is the local head honcho.

          1) Lots of possessions, mostly in livestock.

              a) They are listed before his name is given to us.

              b) Money came first with him.

              c) Nabal is the best illustration of Jesus' parable of

                    the rich farmer.                        Luke 12:15-20

                  1> When he has a big surplus, his only solution is

                        to build bigger barns.

                  2> All he thinks about is how to increase his stuff.

                  3> Then he dies that night.

          2) Nabal is surly and mean in his dealings.

              a) Everyone in the story has the same assessment of his

                    character - his servant, his wife, his enemy (David).

          3) He is lacking an essential element.

              a) His name means "fool."

              b) He is not an idiot, but morally deficient.

                  1> Foolishness and wisdom in the Bible are always

                        religious values.

                  2> Isaiah 32:6 gives a good description:


              "For the fool speaks folly, his mind is busy with evil:

               He practices ungodliness and spreads error concerning

                  the LORD; the hungry he leaves empty and from the

                     thirsty he withholds water."


              c) Nabal's priorities in life are all wrong.

                  1> He thinks only of himself.


III. The confrontation.

      A. It is shearing time and the living is easy, or supposed to be.

          1) It was traditional to celebrate with a big banquet.

          2) It should be a time of generosity to the needy.


      B. David sends a delegation of ten men to ask for some food.

          1) They are to be courteous and complimentary.             25:6

              a) They make no demands, no threats.

          2) They are to mention how helpful they have been to Nabal.

              a) Much of his prosperity is due to them.

              b) They do not ask for a specific amount, let alone enough

                    to feed 600 men.

              c) They leave the response up to Nabal.

              d) Since David sent 10 men, he must have had high hopes

                    for what he would receive.  Twenty arms' worth!

          3) Some see this as an ancient Mafia shakedown.

              a) David is said to be running a "protection racket."

              b) But no one is armed and no harm is threatened.

              c) Until Nabal opens his mouth....


      C. Nabal shows his hard heart.

          1) He insults David.                                      25:10

              a) He acts like he has never heard of the young warrior

                    who killed Goliath.

              b) He insinuates David is nothing but a runaway slave.

          2) Nabal refuses them any food.

              a) He does it in a mean and hurtful way.

              b) Later on in the story, his heart seizes up, but it

                    has already been frozen.


      D. David reacts very humanly.

          1) They go for their guns (note how "sword" is mentioned

                three times in verse 13).                           25:13

          2) His response goes beyond simple vengeance.             25:22

              a) He makes a spiritual vow to slaughter them.

                  1> This is just what King Saul did to the town of Nob.

                  2> Isn't David supposed to be better than Saul?

              b) It is really his ego that is speaking.


IV. A woman's touch makes all the difference.

      A. Abigail enters the picture.

          1) She is said to be intelligent and beautiful.

          2) Nabal probably didn't choose her for these qualities - most

                marriages were arranged by parents back then.

          3) She had power because she was married to a rich guy.

              a) But she didn't let it go to her head.

              b) When a servant tells her how David was treated, she

                    accepts it as true.


      B. She is a woman of action.                                  25:18

          1) Immediately she prepares a huge amount of food.

          2) She heads straight for angry David's lair.


      C. She is tactful and humble.                                 25:23

          1) She agrees with David that her husband is a jerk.      25:25

              a) This puts her on David's good side.

          2) She takes the responsibility for the fiasco.

              a) She didn't see the men coming.                     25:25

              b) She is deflecting from Nabal to herself.

                  1> Back then, vengeance was usually targeted at men.

                  2> Nobody touched a woman so she is safe.


      D. She focuses on God.                                        25:26

          1) God is the one who has kept David from acting rashly.

              a) Actually, she is assuming David won't seek vengeance

                    because of her intervention.

              b) Like a woman, her assumption becomes a concrete fact.

              c) But in doing this, she helps David evaluate the

                    consequences of his intended actions.

          2) Her plea for forgiveness is tied to God's promises.

              a) God is going to make David king.                   25:28

                  1> She doesn't view him as a renegade but a regent.

                  2> This required faith on her part.

                  3> It also requires David to let God be in charge.

                      A> God should take care of this situation,

                            not David.                              25:30

              b) Because he's going to be king, he needs to keep his

                    hands clean.  (Let no wrongdoing be found in you.)

                  1> Abigail is calling David to a higher morality.

                  2> David must not be as violent as Saul, the king

                        God has rejected.

              c) God will deal with Nabal in his own time.


  V. God brings about justice his own way.

      A. Nabal was oblivious to his danger.

          1) Instead, he parties hardy all night.

              a) In the morning, when he is sober, she informs him.

              b) Nabal has a stroke.

          2) We are not told what he was thinking.

              a) Was he startled at the closeness of death at the hands

                    of a band of renegades?

              b) Did he have apoplexy because his wife gave away a

                    train-load of raisins?

          3) All we know is he dies ten days later.


      B. David moves quickly to marry this astounding woman.

          1) He gains a smart, good-looking woman.

              a) It doesn't hurt that she probably had political clout,

                    and was now very rich.

          2) Note what David avoided:

              a) No need for him to kill Nabal and many others.

              b) No need for him to get Abigail behind Nabal's back,

                    like he did with Bathsheba.

          3) He learned some important spiritual truths:

              a) God can provide for him.

              b) God can restrain him.

              c) God can give him wisdom, perhaps through other people.


VI. Is Abigail a good Christian wife?

      A. The question is deliberately anachronistic.

          1) She was, of course, a Jew.

          2) But Christians can learn from these Old Testament heroes.


      B. Abigail was a force for peace.

          1) In reality she was trying to save two men.

          2) David recognized this, but Nabal did not.


      C. She was submissive to God.

          1) She represents very high moral and spiritual ideals.

              a) She brings out the best in David and steers him to God.

          2) Some feel she was going behind Nabal's back so wasn't really

                a submissive wife.

          3) I prefer to think she worked within the limits of his

                character.

              a) She gives Nabal more than he deserves.

              b) God honors her by giving her a better husband.


      D. It often takes a woman to bring out the best in a man.


         There's a story that Thomas Wheeler, CEO of the Massachusetts

            Mutual Life Insurance Company, tells on himself:


         He and his wife were driving along an interstate highway when

            he noticed that their car was low on gas.

         Wheeler got off the highway at the next exit and soon found

            a rundown gas station with just one gas pump.

         He asked the lone attendant to fill the tank and check the oil,

            then went for a little walk around the station to stretch

               his legs.


         As he was returning to the car, he noticed that the attendant

            and his wife were having an animated conversation.

         The conversation stopped as he paid the attendant.

         But as he was getting back into the car, he saw the attendant

            wave to her and heard him say, "It was great talking to you."


         As they drove out of the station, Wheeler asked his wife if she

            knew the guy.

         She did - they had gone to high school together and had dated

            steadily for almost a year.


         "Boy, were you lucky that I came along," bragged Wheeler.

         "If you had married him, you'd be the wife of a gas station

             attendant instead of the wife of a chief executive officer."


         "My dear," replied his wife, "if I had married him, he'd be

             the chief executive officer and you'd be pumping gas."

                                                                   #17694



         I am married to an Abigail.

         Here is a story that you cannot share with Celeste or she will

            kill me.

         As you know, she is the kind of person who burns the candle

            on three ends.

         She juggles a full schedule at work, online college courses,

            housework, and she leads our high school youth group.

         Her big project in the winter is putting on the high school

            ski retreat at Spruce Lake in Pennsylvania.

         She rents a big house there and fills the weekend with Bible

            studies and fun activities.


         It usually happens in early March, even though she often tells

            them she would love to have it earlier.

         Apparently this year they granted her wish but it didn't sink

            in with her - she still thought it was in March.

         Friday night as we were eating in a restaurant she got a call

            from Spruce Lake.

         They wanted to know where she was.


         Celeste almost did a "Nabal" on me.

         She froze up, promised them she would be good for the payment,

            apologized profusely, and closed her cell phone.

         She had a big project due at work this week but she is an

            Abigail.

         Within four hours she called every kid in the youth group and

            told them the new plan.

         She purchased all the food for the (abbreviated) weekend,

            arranged adult help and transportation, organized some

               Bible studies, and guided the caravan to Spruce Lake the

                  next morning.


         How many of you could plan a youth retreat in four hours?

         Like I said, don't tell her I told you this because she may

            take King David's route and take divine vengeance on me.

         But I am blessed to have a spouse who doesn't make excuses

            but makes a way and always does it well.


         What kind of person are you?



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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:


# 5560  Reversing Gender Roles, Rev. John Gillmartin, Gillmartin's

           Sermon-illustrations-each-week (SIEW), May 29, 2000.


#17694  He Was Lucky He Married Her, Thomas Wheeler, Rev. Brett Blair's

           Illustrations by Email, www.sermonillustrations.com,

           July 28, 2002.


These and 35,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be

downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html

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