Rev. David Holwick E Your Family's Foundation
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey (very well-received)
February 5, 2017
1 Thessalonians 2:7-8
BEING A CARING FAMILY
I. How civilized are you?
A. The earliest indication.
The famous anthropologist Margaret Mead was once asked this
question: What was the earliest sign of civilization in
any given culture?
The questioner expected the answer to be a clay pot or perhaps
a fishhook or grinding stone.
Her answer was "a healed femur."
The femur, of course, is the leg bone above the knee.
Mead explained that no healed femurs are found where the law
of the jungle, survival of the fittest, reigns.
A healed femur shows that someone cared.
Someone had to do that injured person's hunting and gathering
until the leg healed.
The evidence of compassion, she said, is the first sign of
civilization.
#17356
B. The question I ask.
1) When I do premarital counseling with a couple, the last
session is always on spirituality.
2) I ask them what values they would want to pass on to their
children.
a) Many answer "love" or "honesty" and so on.
b) An answer I like to hear is "caring."
C. Everyone appreciates being cared for.
1) When we are sick or feeling low, we want there to be
someone who cares whether we live or die.
2) Chances are, that person will be in your family.
a) But you can't always count on it.
b) Some families are very cold and even hateful to one
another.
c) How does your family stack up?
II. Caring begins with awareness.
A. We have to notice hurts before we can heal them.
1) Hurts are not always obvious, and can take different forms.
a) There is physical illness.
1> What loved ones complain about may not be the real
issue.
Celeste's parents have a host of medical issues,
but the one her father is most focused on is
his regularity.
As a nurse, she knows to look beyond that to more
serious matters.
2> Perhaps the hardest is long-term health problems.
A> Over time, you tend to block them out.
B> The sick person is well aware of their issues,
but you might see it as background noise.
C> We have families in our church who have dealt
with illnesses for decades.
b) Emotional hurts can be harder to notice.
1> Silences can develop between family members.
2> Loved ones may hold their pain inside, almost
challenging the others to draw it out.
c) The hardest hurts of all can be spiritual.
1> Many keep their doubts hidden until their faith
has completely eroded.
2> It can be hard for a Christian family to deal with.
A> We don't shun them like some faiths do, but it
can create a chasm that cannot be covered.
2) Learn to interpret the silent body language of loved ones.
a) It may be the way they look at you.
b) Or the deliberate avoidance of you.
c) Everyone has their own quirks that let you know that
something is wrong and they need your attention.
B. How in tune are you with others in your family?
1) Some members of your family may not be very aware.
James Dobson tells the story of one family.
It was 1992, a cold January night, 1 a.m.
One very tired Mom heard a cough.
She bolted from her sleep to a standing, running position,
and with one leap made it to the bathroom.
She flipped on the light to find her 6-year-old daughter
sitting on the edge of the tub.
Stuff from her tummy was all over the floor, the lid of
the toilet and all over herself.
The mom proceeded to clean the floor and surrounding areas,
then placed Sarah into the tub to wash down.
As she turned on the shower, Sarah said with a wrinkled
nose, "Mom! I threw up on Collette too!"
Collette is her 9-year-old sister who happens to share the
bed.
Mom closed the shower curtain and ran to see.
She met Collette in the hallway and she said that Sarah
had thrown up on her.
Mom turned on the bedroom light and beheld the dreaded sight
of Sarah's dinner on 5 blankets, 2 pillows, 2 sheets,
a baby blanket and Collette's pajamas.
She bundled it all onto the bottom sheet and placed it at
the back door.
She put fresh bedding on the bed and placed a bucket beside
Sarah.
She then crawled back into her own bed at which time her
well-covered, half-asleep husband asked, "WHAT'S WRONG?"!
#4260
[Pastor Holwick has no recollection of his children ever
being sick in the middle of the night.]
2) Spend a moment to think of someone in your family who is
reaching out to you.
III. Have compassion for their hurts.
A. We have to know before we feel, and feel before we act.
1) The Bible uses graphic vocabulary to describe our emotions
for others - "I reach out my intestines to you!"
a) Americans sometimes talk about wearing their heart on
their sleeve -- Paul could appreciate that.
b) Real compassion means you feel so strongly you have a
physical reaction. That is how much you love them.
2) People don't show feelings the same way.
a) Some are very quiet, others are demonstrative.
b) If you have an Italian or Greek background, you are
probably proud of your emotions.
c) Scandinavians are much more stoic and close-lipped.
3) However you show your feelings, you should have them.
a) We assume that everyone in a family loves each other.
b) Sadly, it is not always true.
1> Some family members may not care what happens to you.
2> They may even take delight in your problems.
c) But if you are a Christian, you should have sympathy
and love for those God has put in your life.
B. Loved ones often feel all alone in their pain.
1) One of the factors in illness and depression is the feeling
that no one cares.
Psalm 142:4 says,
"Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge; no one cares for my life."
2) They may feel this way even if it isn't true.
a) Illness can work on the mind like that.
b) Your concern for them has to be continually affirmed.
IV. Care for their hurts.
A. Caring for your family is a Biblical expectation.
1) It reveals how genuine your religion really is.
1 Timothy 5:4 --
"If a widow has children or grandchildren, these should
learn first of all to put their religion into practice
by caring for their own family and so repaying their
parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing
to God."
2) Today we call this the contract between generations.
a) The younger owe something to the older.
b) There is an acknowledgement that they cared for us when
we were young, and so we should care for them when
they are old.
3) Caring for the elderly in your family.
a) It is a big change in the relationship.
b) Pride can be a big issue.
c) But we can overcome this with patience and love.
B. Paul compared his ministry to the caring in a family.
1) He was gentle...
1 Thessalonians 2:7
"but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for
her little children."
a) Note that for him the ultimate example was a mother's
love for her children.
2) He was personal...
1 Thessalonians 2:8
"We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with
you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well,
because you had become so dear to us."
a) Caring is not just doing the right thing, going through
the motions.
b) Genuine caring involves the engagement of your heart.
C. Examples of caring in our fellowship.
1) The Osborne family took care of John and Trinka in their
last days, so they could be with their loved ones.
2) Neil Lepre takes care of Bonnie every day, and has for years.
3) Wendy Ventura is one of those driving back and forth to
care for her elderly parents, even when they resist.
4) Some have children with special needs.
5) Others have very small families, and so they take on the
care of people who are outside their family.
6) What kind of caring do you see in your own family?
V. We care because we have a compassionate Savior.
A. Jesus showed us how to love each other.
1) He noticed when people were hungry, and fed them, even
when it was more than 5,000 people.
a) It says he had compassion on them because they had
no one to lead them.
2) He noticed when people were sick, and healed them.
a) He was always willing.
b) He extended his touch to them.
c) Hurting people got his special attention.
B. He commands us to do the same.
1) "Love one another as I have loved you." John 13:34
2) It applies to your family.
3) It applies to your spiritual family, the church.
4) It even applies to those who are part of the human family.
Last week we were visited by a homeless person.
He sat quietly in the back during the service.
Afterwards, several people talked to him.
I had to deal with some church business before
helping him.
When I came back, a young family in the church
was praying with him.
This was 20 minutes after most people left.
Your pastor used Deacons Fund money to get him lunch
and some supplies.
It is my job - they decided to make it their calling.
C. How well does your family care?
1) For each other?
2) For neighbors?
3) For strangers?
=========================================================================
SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
# 4260 “Who Has To Clean Up the Vomit?” by Rev. Glenn Gunderson; First
Baptist Church of Pomona, California; January 1998; original
source is James Dobson.
#17356 “The Earliest Sign of Civilization,” Rev. Brett Blair's
Illustrations by Email, www.sermonillustrations.com,
(esermons.com), June 30, 2002.
These and 35,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
=========================================================================
Copyright © 2024 by Rev. David Holwick
Created with the Freeware Edition of HelpNDoc: Single source CHM, PDF, DOC and HTML Help creation