Rev. David Holwick I Your Family's Foundation
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
March 12, 2017
Colossians 3:12-14
HEALING BROKENNESS
I. King Herod's broken family.
A. Masada is on every tour schedule in Israel.
It is a dramatic flat-topped mountain where Jews took their
last stand against the Romans.
Below the fortified summit, Herod the Great, the one who had
tried to kill baby Jesus, had built some sumptuous palaces.
One of them, according to our guide, was also a tomb for
his queen, Mariamne. [*]
Ancient historians say he encased her body in honey to
preserve it.
He grieved a long time for her and would cry out to her at
night.
It should also be noted he had executed her.
B. Many families get torn up.
1) Most of us won't resort to violence, I hope, but all of us
will go through periods of heartbreak and failure.
2) Some of the pain will come from your sinful natures and
some will come from no fault of your own.
3) Your own family might be hiding brokenness right now.
C. Broken families can be made whole again.
1) The essence of the good news of Jesus is that sins can be
forgiven and broken relationships can be reconciled.
2) It is not automatic or guaranteed, but following the
principles of the Bible can put you on a solid path.
II. Normal families have issues.
A. Our sinful natures will always be with us.
1) Our personalities clash and our words can be cutting.
2) We easily see the shortcomings of others, but can be blind
to our own.
3) You are always most cruel to the ones you love.
a) It can take the form of betrayal, lying, stealing.
B. The world provides subtle challenges.
1) We are driven to acquire more stuff, and get sucked into
a busyness that keeps us away from each other.
2) The world presents an ideal that normal people can't reach.
a) When I was growing up, the TV show "Ozzie and Harriet"
was popular.
1> It followed a real-life family in the ordinary
routines of life.
2> Some say it was the original "Seinfeld."
b) The reality was darker.
1> Ozzie, the father, was a dictator who wouldn't
let the two sons attend college because it
would interfere with the TV production.
2> Harriet, the wife, was a former vaudeville star
who liked dirty jokes and partying.
3> Ricky, the musical son, got his girlfriend pregnant.
When he died in a plane crash they found cocaine,
marijuana and pain killers in his blood. [1]
C. Don't worry about perfection - just learn to get along.
1) No perfect family exists. Not even in a church.
2) Imperfect people can still live in harmony.
3) It is one of the greatest secrets of Christianity.
III. Healing begins with God.
A. God chooses us and loves us dearly.
1) How do you know if you've been chosen?
2) Accept it by faith.
a) He promises it to us so we can believe it.
B. We are to be holy because we are loved.
1) Holy - root meaning is to be set apart for God's service.
a) It is not so much perfection as commitment to God.
b) Our faith should make a difference in how we live.
2) God loves us, in spite of ourselves.
a) Even before we are holy or even religious.
b) While we are sinners - enemies of God - he initiates
his love for us.
c) Because of God's love for us, we can learn to love
one another.
C. Seek the salvation of your family members.
1) You won't be a team, until you are on God's team.
2) He will give you common values and an eternal goal.
IV. Clothe your family in Christian virtues.
A. Compassion.
1) Paul begins with compassion.
2) It involves empathy, caring for the hurts of others.
3) Compassion is something we feel inside us, before we
express it to others.
4) Compassion has a special focus on those who are weak,
or sick, or old.
5) Show your family you care for them because of who they are,
not because of what they can do for you.
B. Kindness.
1) Combines goodness, kindliness and graciousness.
2) The ancient writers defined kindness as the virtue of the
person whose neighbor's good means as much to you as
your own.
C. Humility.
1) Humility and gentleness were not considered virtues in the
ancient pagan world.
a) Come to think of it, they are not that popular in our
own world.
b) They are virtues that were created by Christianity.
2) In ancient Greek, the word "humble" always had the tinge
of servility - a groveling, cringing attitude.
3) Christian humility is based on the idea that God is greater
than we are, and all people stand on an equal footing
before him.
4) Norman Vincent Peale put it this way -
"Humble people don't think less of themselves ...
they just think about themselves less."
D. Gentleness.
1) The opposite of arrogance and self-assertiveness.
2) It considers the rights and feelings of others.
3) It is a characteristic of Christ (Matt 11:29),
a fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:23),
and a distinctive trait of Christians (Matt 5:5).
E. Patience.
1) Self-restraint that enables us to bear injury and insult
without resorting to retaliation.
2) It is an attribute of God and a fruit of the Spirit.
3) Don't fly off the handle at each other, especially your
kids.
V. Possess these virtues, and apply them.
A. Each virtue has to do with interpersonal relationships.
1) Jesus made it a priority as well.
a) In the Sermon on the Mount - Matthew 5:23-24 - he says:
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar
and there remember that your brother or sister has
something against you, leave your gift there in
front of the altar.
First go and be reconciled to them; then come and
offer your gift."
b) He is basically saying, if you know someone has an
issue with you, leave church right now and work it
out with them.
c) Even if you haven't done anything wrong, if they think
you have, take the initiative to make peace with them.
2) God is giving us the solution of the problem of living
together.
B. Bear with each other.
1) Our goal is family unity, not unanimity.
2) Dan Baty gives this advice on defusing conflict:
a) Keep short accounts. [love keeps no record of wrongs]
b) Speak honestly.
c) Remember that your view is your view.
d) Commit to self-examination.
e) Remember the Lord.
C. Forgive grievances.
1) Marriage & Family counselors say there are three stages to
getting through a conflict:
a) Stage One is Recognition. "We have a problem."
Many people have a hard time getting to stage one --
"What problem? We don't have a problem."
The first indication of that problem is when one of the
people walks out.
b) Stage Two is Reaction. "It's worse than I thought."
That's the painful stage.
That's the stage when the emotions come out and maybe
some voices are raised, some tears are shed.
c) Third is Resolution. "What are we going to do about it?"
Come up with constructive ways to solve the problems.
Sermon #16946
2) One of the best conflict-solvers is forgiveness.
a) Forgiveness works.
A few years ago, researchers at the University of Michigan studied
forgiveness scientifically.
According to sociology professor David R. Williams, "Forgiveness is
not just a theological concept, but is one that has direct
consequences for health and function,"
They found that those in their 40s and older enjoy better mental
and physical health through forgiving others.
Forgiveness has several angles, and they discovered an interesting
twist.
They discovered that more people have an easier time accepting God's
forgiveness for themselves, than extending forgiveness to others.
Certain kinds of forgiveness are more forgiving.
For example, forgiving oneself and forgiving others, really letting
go of resentment and giving up trying to get even, appear to
bring better mental health, the study showed.
But people who just pray for those who hurt them seemed to do less
well.
Maybe sometimes we want God to do our dirty work for us - he can
forgive our enemies, but we won't.
Forgiveness fundamentally has to do with bringing resolution to
conflicts and past hurts.
The older you become, the more you will appreciate this.
We sometimes lose sight of how quickly time passes.
People are so future-oriented, and they think they'll forgive
someone in the future, but then the opportunity passes.
Older people realize it's not worth the sacrifice of time to have
a broken relationship.
#22024
VI. Love is the ultimate glue.
A. Love binds the other virtues together.
1) Tell each other you love them.
2) Show each other you love them, even when it is hard.
B. Love gives us unity.
An anonymous woman in northern Illinois shared her personal
experience of healing in her family.
She was a new Christian, but her husband was dead-set against
religious people.
She wrote:
"When I met Christ, I was 49 years old and had been married
to my husband for 17 years.
We had two children and lived a quiet suburban life.
We were comfortable and respected by our families.
But I knew at that moment that everything about my life was
going to change.
And, if I was to be obedient and follow Christ, I could most
definitely lose it all - my marriage, my life the way
I knew it, my friends, my family.
"Becoming a Christian was new life for me - a joy and an
answer to a life with no real meaning.
But becoming a Christian also meant that there was a definite
possibility that my husband would cease to love me.
How could I know he would stay with me if I was so thoroughly
a new person?
How could I know that my husband, who was not a believer,
would value his vows?
I was extremely afraid.
At times, I didn't want to have this new life.
Honestly, I didn't think it was worth it - I wanted to give
it back to God.
I wanted to run the other way."
She continued:
"Satan immediately began his work, bent on the destruction
of our marriage.
I cannot describe to you how swiftly he moved.
He continued shaping and molding true hatred for the one thing
my husband despised: 'those religious types.'
I was now one of them.
"I weighed my devotion for Christ against my devotion to my
kids and family.
I asked whether a broken marriage with Christ was better than
a marriage without Christ.
But gradually, Christ's words became my words, his love filled
me and poured out of me, and I was able to love the man who
called me his enemy.
I found that I could love my husband with a resolve I had never
before experienced.
"In the year and a half that has followed, many blessings have
been bestowed upon my family.
It may not be apparent to my husband, but our marriage is very
different because of Christ.
Christ is at the center and is shaping our partnership in a
very new and distinctly Christian way.
Additionally, my husband has changed dramatically from the man
he was two years ago.
He told me I should go ahead and attend church and gave me his
blessing.
My children began going to youth group, and now both of my
children are worshiping with me weekly.
And when I asked my husband if he would support my daughter
and me to be a part of a missions trip to Mexico, he
responded with, 'We will make it happen.'
"I have entrusted my husband into Christ's care.
I am okay with that.
I have learned many lessons in this past year and a half, but
none so much as loving and trusting my Lord."
#65650
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
[*] Our guide in Israel pointed this out, but I have found no other
sources that places Mariamne’s tomb at Masada.
1. “Dousing the Glow Of TV's First Family; Time for the Truth About Ozzie
and Harriet,” by Bernard Weinraub, The New York Times, June 18, 1998;
<link>.
Sermon #16946 “How To Restore Harmony In Your Home,” by Rev. Dan
Warkentin, Discovery Church; Mennonite Brethren; Pitt Meadows,
British Columbia, Canada; <link>.
#22024 “Forgiveness: Good For Your Health and Holidays?” by Lisa Klionsky,
Ann Arbor News, December 25, 2001; <link>.
#65650 “Christ Preserved Her Family,” anonymous, PreachingToday.com;
quoted by Rev. C. Philip Green in Kerux Sermon #64774.
These and 35,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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