Ephesians 5_25-33      Husbands, Love

Rev. David Holwick  C

First Baptist Church

Ledgewood, New Jersey

January 19, 1992

Ephesians 5:25-33


  I. Husbands, love wives.                                5:25

      A. How many wives had their husbands say "I love you!" this morning?

                  (show of hands)      (You can be certain I DID!)

                          [[ but I didn't!!]]

      B. We usually see this the other way around.

          1) Husbands are the ones looking for attention.

              a) And they are often the last ones to give it.

              b) By nature, men are less emotional.

          2) But in Bible, husbands have the burden of showing love.

              a) Husbands are told to love six times.

              b) Wives are told to love only once, with an inferior word.

      C. As a command, love is something husbands should do more than feel.

          1) Love is a decision.

          2) The word for love here doesn't focus on romantic love, but

                Christian love (agape), which is much deeper.

              a) (Application of 1 Corinthians 13 to husbands.)

              b) Christian love is practical love.

          3) Paul Harvey once gave this account:

             A man named Carl Coleman was driving to work when a woman

                motorist, passing too close, snagged his fender with hers.

             Both cars stopped.

             The young woman surveying the damage was in tears.

                She admitted it was her fault.

             But it was a new car--less than two days from the showroom.

                How was she ever going to face her husband?

             Mr. Coleman was sympathetic but explained they must take down

                each other's license number and automobile registration.

             The woman reached into the glove compartment of her car to

                retrieve the documents in an envelope...

             And on the first paper to tumble out, in a heavy masculine

                scrawl, were these words:

             "In case of accident, remember, Honey, it's you I love,

                not the car." #1716

II. Love as Jesus loves.                              5:25

      A. Give self up.

          1) Selfishness at root of most marriage problems.

             Arnold Schwarzenegger has a rocky relationship with Maria

                Kennedy Shriver, his wife who is also a TV personality.

             Arnold acts like a tyrant, showing her how to wash dishes

                and demanding meals when he wants them.

             Once when she replied, jokingly, "Make it yourself," he said,

                "Don't ever talk back to me again!

                 You are my wife and I want breakfast now!"

             A guest was present, reported it to STAR tabloid.


              a) (Illustration of "Christian" man leaving wife & four kids

                    because his needs were no longer being met)

              b) There is nothing "unmanly" about serving your spouse.

          2) "Giving yourself up" should cost you something.

             If you went to the bank and withdrew a $10,000 bill, you

                would esteem that bill as something valuable, wouldn't you?

             You wouldn't let it get lost or torn.

             That is how we are to treat our wives - with the care and

                consideration we'd give a $10,000 bill.

             A customer brought a fancy greeting card to the counter and

                reached for his wallet.

             The clerk rang up the card and announced, "That will be five

                dollars, please."

             "Five dollars?" the man bellowed.  "Forget it!"

             He jammed his wallet back in his pocket and left the store.

                The clerk picked up the card and returned it to the rack.

             Just before he put it back, he opened it.

             It said "To My Wife, Because You Mean So Much."


          3) Practical ways to show our wives we love them sacrificially.

              a) Chores around the house.

              b) Take kids out for a day.

              c) (one man warms the car up and cleans windshield for wife)

              d) What have you done for your wife that's out of the


      B. Make her holy.                                     5:26

          1) Men should have goal of challenging and supporting their

                wife spiritually.

          2) Ironically, women are usually the spiritual pillar of home.

              a) Reason:  men focus on the here-and-now, forget God.

              b) Carries over into church life.

              c) Men need to take their own spiritual needs seriously,

                    since we won't get to heaven on our wives' apron strings.

          3) Godly husbands can bring their wives closer to God.1 Cor 7:14

      C. Cleansing her with water.

          1) Section uses the image of a wedding, with Jesus as the groom

                and the Church as the bride.

              a) Most cultures have the bride take a bath before the

                    ceremony, even if it's not normal for everyday life.

                  1> Queen Victoria took a bath the day she was born,

                       the day she was married, and the day they put her

                         in her casket.  That's it.

              b) Baptism in view here.

          2) Christians should value purity, spiritually and romantically.

              a) Billboard:

                    "Virgin - Teach your kids it's not a dirty word."

              b) We need to encourage young men to treat their potential

                    spouses with purity.  2 Cor 11:2

                  1> Reason I limit weddings in sanctuary to those who

                        aren't living together.

                  2> Many young couples are compatible physically but

                        don't really know each other on a deeper level.

              c) Older men also need to treat their wives with purity.

                  1> Don't demean them or use gross comments in public.

                  2> Treat them as special when you are all alone.

                  3> If you need to make negative comments, make them

                        about things your wife can change.

III. Love wife as own body.                        5:28

      A. Selfish motive?

          1) More mundane reason for loving wife, but practical.

          2) Most of us are selfish in our orientation and we can use it

                to advantage in our marriage.

      B. Loving your wife is a way of loving yourself.

          1) The way we esteem our wife shows what we are like inside.

          2) A good marriage helps you live longer, too.

             Recent scientific study a team of researchers from the

                University of California, San Francisco:

             Unmarried, middle-aged men are twice as likely to die as

                those who have spouses.

             Living together doesn't help, you have to be married.

             23% of men ages 45-54 who lived without a spouse died within

                10 years.

             This compares with 11% of those who lived with their wives.

                Women are much happier single.

             Marriage apparently breeds better living habits, with single

                men drinking and smoking more and eating less well.

             "Because they are cared for by nurturing wives, they just

                plain feel happier than the other guys do."


      C. Feed and care for her. 5:29

          1) Just as Christ takes care of us.

              a) More than material provision.

          2) Emotional support is just as critical.

              a) Be considerate to your wife. 1 Peter 3:7

      D. Ancient principle - one flesh. 5:31(Genesis 2:24)

          1) In God's eyes we are one.

          2) "Marital duty" and importance of bonding. 1 Cor 7:3

          3) Don't deny each other, using it as a weapon.

IV. God wants husbands who love as He loves.

      A. Sometimes it is not easy - Hosea and Gomer.

      B. Will you be a faithful, loving husband?

Copyright 2017 by Rev. David Holwick

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