Rev. David Holwick ZO
First Baptist Church
West Lafayette, Ohio
November 20, 1988
Proverbs 18:22
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I. Basis of marriage in Proverbs:
A. Hard to understand ways of men and women. 30:18-19
B. Marriage is good.
18:22 "Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing,
and obtains favor from the Lord."
C. Marriage is based on a special kind of love. (hesed)
1) The foundation is a promise (covenant).
2:17 (Negative): "She forgets the covenant of her God."
Extreme example of covenant love from Wisconsin:
John Creviston is a husband who takes the vow, "Till death do
us part" very seriously. Apparently his wife Shirley does also.
She allegedly wanted to kill him so she could collect a $200,000
insurance policy.
If it's true, she hired bad help. The first killer tried to
stage an accidental shooting on a hunting trip, but the gunman got
lost in the woods. He then planned a car accident in which the
husband would die as a result of apparent drunken driving. Using
a shovel handle, the hit man attacked Creviston, who had been
drinking, but he was unable to subdue Creviston and get him into
the car.
So Shirley, it is alleged, tried to hire another hit man, who
rejected the commission. Then, in exasperation, she turned to a
former husband. For the down payment she said she would forget the
$1,000 he owed in child support, and pay him an addition $9,000
when he completed the job. The ex-husband went to the police and
Shirley was arrested and charged with attempted first-degree
murder.
How did her husband John react? He bailed Shirley out of jail.
He escorted her to pre-trial hearings and is expected to testify on
her behalf at the trial. As Shirley's own lawyer puts it, "This
defies logic if you take the complaints [charges] as being true."
This is rather extreme, but it how many people do you know who forget
their vow each time someone good-looking walks by?
a) Jonda McFarlane - commitment must have highest place
in marriage, above liberation or careers.
2) Love is center of relationship.
a) Intense, heart-felt love, not just loyalty.
Prov 5:18 "Rejoice with the wife of thy youth."
5:19 "Be ravished always with her love."
(NIV - captivated)
b) Physical love is important.
Tomio and Sachi Hidaka were a shy Japanese couple. They were very
much in love, but more in regard to spirituality and mutual respect.
They could barely make eye contact even when fully clothed. After
waiting 14 years they decided to consummate their marriage. Sachi
wrote in her diary, "Tomio and I are very much afraid but it's now
or never. Tonight is the night." It was. Both of them had heart
attacks and died.
The Bible does not take this approach, whatever some say. Physical
love is beautiful and created by God, though it must be carefully
confined to marriage alone.
3) Love is meant to be life-long. 2:17, 5:18
From youth on, not "as long as we feel like it."
a) Monogamy is norm. (Polygamy not common)
b) Love is passed down through the generations. 4:3
II. There are no guarantees of rosiness. Bad marriages exist.
A. Marked by unfaithfulness.
1) Swayed by insincerity. 2:16
2) Not just women. Hard to find a faithful man.
20:6 "Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness
(love): but a faithful man who can find?"
3) Unfaithfulness portrayed in darkest colors. (last sermon)
4) One of 4 things earth cannot bear:
"A married woman who is unloved (KJV-odious)." 30:21,23
B. Marked by bickering.
1) Strife. (crumbs better) 17:1
2) Constant dripping. 19:13
a) Arab proverb:
Three things make a house intolerable: bak, tak, nak.
(bak = bugs, tak = rain leaking, nak = wife's nagging.
b) (Harder to restrain than wind) 27:15-16
3) Quarrelsome (corner of roof) 21:9 (25:24)
a) Men - (wood to fire) 26:21
4) Ill-tempered (desert) 21:19
C. Marked by regrets.
1) Decay in bones. 12:4
"She that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."
III. Good marriage.
A. It should bring joy. 5:18
1) Exclusive claim - don't spread it around. 5:20
B. It involves sharing.
1) Share in children's upbringing.
2) Speak with one voice. Prov 1:8
"My son, hear the instruction of thy father,
and forsake not the law of thy mother."
C. It brings out abilities and talents. 31:10
(Poem of the Noble Wife.)
1) Importance of spouse.
a) Wives make or break husband.
1> Boon. 18:22, 19:14
2> Rottenness in bones. 12:4
b) Family stability depends on her wisdom. 14:1
2) Wife has many opportunities to use her gifts. 31:10 ff.
a) Centers on home, but extends beyond.
D. It involves peace. (Opposite of dripping, nagging)
E. It brings honor.
1) Good wife. 12:4
IV. The place of God in marriage.
A. God is behind marriage. (He started it, for companionship)
B. God can bring the right people together. 19:14
"A prudent wife is from the Lord."
C. Marriage must be founded on God's principles.
1) Don't give evil for good. 17:13
2) Righteous receive an inheritance. 13:22
D. God will bless such a family. 12:7
"The wicked are overthrown, and are not:
but the house of the righteous shall stand."
Copyright © 2024 by Rev. David Holwick
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