Rev. David Holwick P Series on Proverbs
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
June 4, 2006
Proverbs 18:24
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I. Connecting to others.
A. Is technology the answer?
1) Cell phones (94% of British pre-teens have them).
2) Instant messaging and emails.
3) Internet dating services.
B. Yet many remain lonely.
1) Our hectic lifestyle promotes shallow relationships.
2) High rates of divorce and suicide.
3) Friendship is definite need in the world - and the church.
Shane Braisdell of Wigan, England, is selling his friendship
on the Internet.
The 29 year-old retail manager, who is married with two kids,
is offering 12-month friendships in a range of packages.
For about two-and-a-half bucks, people can expect a birthday
card, monthly e-mails and a framed certificate of friendship.
The most expensive deal is 500 pounds (for which friends will
receive a DVD of his choice every month).
For packages of 70 pounds and more, Mr. Braisdell will give
out his cell phone number.
He describes himself as short and tubby, and he will not enter
into extramarital affairs or anything that involves his
family.
"I'm trustworthy, honest and reliable," he says.
"Everybody needs more friends."
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C. The quality of your friends matters.
1) Friends rub off on you.
22:24-25 "Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man,
do not associate with one easily angered, or you may
learn his ways and get yourself ensnared."
27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
2) People may like you for the wrong reasons.
14:20 "The poor are shunned even by their neighbors,
but the rich have many friends."
3) Take friendship seriously.
12:26 "A righteous man is cautious in friendship..."
a) I wouldn't hire a friend, but a good one is worth
their weight in gold.
b) In order to have a good friend, you must first
learn to BE a good friend.
II. Proverbs' advice on being a good friend.
A. Be committed.
1) We need a few good friends rather than lots of so-so ones.
18:24 "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but
there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."
2) Stick to them through thick and thin.
17:17 "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is
born for adversity."
3) Be there when they need you the most.
27:10 "Do not forsake your friend...when disaster strikes
you, better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away."
Benjamin Franklin, "Be slow to make friends, and
slower to lose them." (Tan #1800?)
B. Be candid.
1) A good friend tells the truth, even when it hurts.
27:6 "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy
multiplies kisses."
2) Think through your advice so it will be beneficial to them.
27:9 "Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the
pleasantness of one's friend springs from his
earnest counsel."
C. Be confidential.
1) A good friend keeps the truth between the two of you.
16:28 "A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip
separates close friends."
17:9 "He who covers over an offense promotes love, but
whoever repeats the matter separates close friends."
D. Be caring and considerate.
1) Don't overstay your welcome.
25:17 "Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house -- too
much of you, and he will hate you."
2) Be positive - at the proper time.
27:14 "If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the
morning, it will be taken as a curse."
26:18 "Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows
is a man who deceives his neighbor and says,
"I was only joking!"
3) Give when you've got it.
3:28 "Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back later; I'll
give it tomorrow" -- when you now have it with you."
III. Friendship is a key to a good church.
A. They won't stay because of the applesauce at the potlucks.[1]
Rick Warren tells of a survey taken in a church.
When asked, "Why did you join this church?", 93 percent of the
members said, "I joined because of the pastor."
Then they were asked, "What if the pastor leaves? Will you
leave?" 93 percent said no.
When asked why they wouldn't leave, the response was, "because
I have friends here!"
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1) You don't have to know everyone, just a few quite well.
2) Someone who cares enough to pray for you and encourage you,
B. Opportunities for friendship.
1) Deacons' shepherd program.
a) Each assigned some families.
b) They are praying for you, will visit you.
1> They won't be asking for money!
2) Sunday School teachers.
a) Get to know your people.
1> The lesson is only part of your ministry.
2> Know what is going on in their lives.
b) Be available for them when needs arise.
1> Real friendship is not cheap, easy or quick.
C. Friends help you go the distance.
We all need to have people who care for us.
What is the most terrible thing about being in a nursing home?
The feeling that no one cares.
If one person visits and shows they are concerned, you can
endure any amount of pain.
Nature itself shows us that we need each other.
There is a bird in Alaska called the Golden Plover.
Every winter it does what any sane person would do - it flies
to Hawaii.
For this annual trip it flies across open sea.
There are no islands along the way and since the Golden Plover
cannot swim, it goes the whole way without a single rest
stop.
This is incredible because the distance is 2,800 miles and
takes eighty-eight hours.
Just imagine driving your car that long.
The bird must beat its wings 250,000 times.
To prepare for the trip, the Golden Plover pigs out until fat
constitutes one-third of its weight.
This is its fuel.
Each hour it flies, it consumes one-half of one percent of its
body weight.
(This is very efficient - jets consume twenty-four times as
much.)
If a two-hundred-pound person did this, they would lose a
pound an hour.
After flying seventy-two hours a Golden Plover should have
consumed all its fat, but this would leave it over 500
miles from Hawaii.
We would expect it to poop out and crash into the sea, but
it doesn't.
The reason is that God gave them companions.
By flying in a V-formation instead of by themselves the birds
save twenty-three percent of their energy.
The leader breaks up the turbulent air, making it easier for
those who follow.
When the leader gets tired he drops to the back of the line
and another takes over.
In this way they not only make it to Hawaii, they also have a
small supply of fat left to help them in case the wind is
against them.
Like the Golden Plover, people need other people.
We can help each other go the distance.
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IV. Friendship doesn't have to be limited to people.
A. Abraham was called the friend of God. James 2:23
1) What did he have to do to earn this? Nothing!
2) He was God's friend because he believed what God said.
B. God will never leave you, nor forsake you.
1) Have you accepted him?
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
[1] Goldy Weller's homemade applesauce is famous at Ledgewood Baptist's
potluck dinners. People may not join our church because of it, but without
it the pastor would leave.
This sermon borrows key points from the sermon "Cultivating My Friendships" by
Rev. Mark Brouwer of Bridgewood Church (Christian Reformed); Savage, Minnesota.
It is Sermon #22278 in the Kerux database. I have also adapted material from
my earlier sermon "Friends In Proverbs" given on November 27, 1988, which
draws material from Derek Kidner's excellent commentary on Proverbs.
#28902 "Rent A Friend," by The Guardian, Wit And Wisdom at
http://www.witandwisdom.org by Richard G. Wimer, Dec. 29, 2004.
#29591 "Relationships: The Glue That Holds Your Church Together," by
Rev. Rick Warren, Baptist Press, http://www.baptistpress.org/,
June 20, 2005.
#29624 "What The Golden Plover Teaches Us About Friendship," taken from an
old sermon by David Holwick - original source unknown.
These and 30,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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Proverbs on Friendship:
3:28 Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow" -- when you now have it with you.
11:12 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.
12:26 A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
13:20 He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.
14:20 The poor are shunned even by their neighbors, but the rich have many friends.
16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.
17:9 He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
19:4 Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man's friend deserts him.
19:6 Many curry favor with a ruler, and everyone is the friend of a man who gives gifts.
22:11 He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.
22:24-25 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.
25:17 Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house -- too much of you, and he will hate you.
26:18-19 Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, "I was only joking!"
27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
27:9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.
27:10 Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother's house when disaster strikes you -- better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.
27:14 If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.
27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Other verses:
Ecclesiastes 4:10-12
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
James 2:23
And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend.
Copyright © 2024 by Rev. David Holwick
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