Rev. David Holwick P #3742
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
May 12, 1996
Proverbs 22:3-6
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I. Motherhood is not what it used to be.
A. "Percentage of women in a national survey citing motherhood
as one of the best parts of being a woman:
1970, 53%.
1983, 26%. #47,p26
1996, ??
1) Ledgewood Baptist is bucking the tide.
2) Three babies to be dedicated in next month.
B. Mothers are critical.
1) Primary caretaker.
2) Usually the dominant spiritual influence in a child's life.
3) Are they doing an adequate job?
C. The Bible gives some keys on how to raise our kids.
1) Examples of good parents (and horrible ones).
2) General advice about passing on values.
3) Prudence indicates we should prepare for it.
II. "Train up your child."
A. Popular verse is often misunderstood.
Mary was not the first mother to worry about her children, and she
definitely wasn't the last.
Back in the sixties a young man named Tim Lee was growing up in a Christian
family. As a matter of fact, his father was a preacher. When Tim became a
teenager he began to rebel against the restrictions his mother and father put
on him. Finally Tim Lee became so fed up with his home life he ran off and
joined the Marines. They trained him and shipped him off to an Asian country
called Vietnam.
Imagine how his mother felt. She loved her son and had nurtured his faith
when he was young. If she put restrictions on him, it was because she wanted
to direct his life in God's ways. But he had rebelled, rejected the faith and
run away. Now he was at war. Where were God's promises?
Some of her worst fears soon came to pass. Three months before he would have
returned home, Tim was leading his men through a mine-field. He made one
false step. When he regained consciousness, a buddy was cradling him in his
arms and praying for him. Both of Tim's legs were gone. Tim uttered the most
sincere prayer of his life - "God, if you'll just let me live, I promise I'll
serve you."
Tim Lee survived, and he kept his promise. In answer to his mother's prayers
he became a preacher, and has led revivals across the United States. "Train
up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart
from it."
#2188
B. Usual interpretation:
Get your kids in church and Sunday School at a young age.
Teach him or her a lot of Bible verses and hymns.
Make sure they learn the Ten Commandments, a few prayers to be
used at mealtimes and bedtime, and in case of emergency.
Send them to summer camp at Camp Lebanon and hope something
sticks.
No matter what you do, your kid is going to grow up and rebel.
Drinking, partying, generally carousing.
But when they are middle-aged they will return to the Lord.
You can count on it.
Or can you?
This may be a popular interpretation, but I don't think this
verse really teaches it.
C. Train your child in the manner befitting a child.
1) Literally, "in accordance with his way."
a) Use words, concepts and illustrations a child can
understand.
b) Not so much the way YOU think it should be done, as
the way that would be effective for them.
2) Each child is a little different.
a) They have traits or "bents."
b) You have to understand your child's uniqueness.
III. Children have bents.
A. Grooming the good bents. Psalm 103:13-15
1) Each child has been put together in a unique way.
2) Cultivate the skills and abilities they have.
a) Daniel on piano, Rebecca with flute, Sarah with friends.
b) Acknowledge these traits, encourage them, invest in them.
3) Don't force them to fulfill what you couldn't.
a) Daniel won't be the star football player I wasn't...
b) Josiah will be!
B. Oppose the bad bents.
1) Some of a child's bents are of the warped variety. Ps 51:5
a) We are born with a sinful nature.
b) They don't have to be taught to do wrong.
2) Counteract them.
a) Lead your child to a knowledge of Jesus as Lord.
1> Their salvation should be your highest priority.
b) Deal with wrong as it occurs.
1> They should know wrong won't be permitted.
2> Permissiveness is dangerous. Prov 29:15
3> Leonardo Da Vinci wrote:
"He who does not punish evil, commands it to be done."
c) Police their environment. Prov 22:3
1> Things we can control: TV, telephones, car keys.
2> Peer influence.
IV. Advice from a preacher's wife.
Susannah Wesley (1669-1742) was a London pastor's wife and the
mother of nineteen children.
Among them were hymn writer Charles Wesley and John Wesley,
evangelist and found of Methodism.
In his journal, John Wesley recorded his mother's rules for the
family [paraphrased]:
A. Fear of punishment often leads children into lying, till they get
accustomed to it and cannot stop.
To prevent this, my mother made a rule that whenever someone did
something wrong, if they would sincerely confess it, and
promise to change their behavior, they would not be punished.
B. No sinful action, such as lying, stealing, playing in church,
being disobedient, fighting, etc., would ever go unpunished.
C. No child should be punished twice for the same error, and if they
change their behavior the error should never be mentioned
again.
D. Every act of obedience, especially when it went against their
nature, should always be complimented, and frequently rewarded.
E. If any child was obedient or tried to please the parents, even if
it wasn't done that well, the obedience was kindly accepted and
the child encouraged to do even better in the future.
F. The property of the children would be respected, even the smallest
object, and not taken away from them unless they agreed.
G. Promises should be strictly kept. Once a gift is given it could
not be taken back, unless it was a conditional gift and the
agreement it was based on was violated.
-From "The Heart of John Wesley's Journal"
#3743
V. When he is old he will not depart.
A. Does not refer to sowing oats, and then returning.
1) (Though this may be true.)
2) James Dobson did a survey of 853 parents and found that
of their rebellious children, now grown:
53% accept the values of their parents,
32% somewhat accept their values,
only 15% still reject their parents' values.
B. Means a properly trained child should stick to the course.
C. Take mothering seriously and bear eternal fruit.
[Well-received, though I thought it was a weak sermon.]
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