Rev. David Holwick ZH
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
September 27, 1992
Proverbs 4:1-7; 22:6
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I. The minefield of childrearing.
A. There is a story about a professor who frequently delivered a
lecture to large audiences.
He called his talk "Ten Commandments for Parents."
After his first child he changed the title to
"Seven Principles for Parents."
After two more children his speech was rewritten to become,
"Three Suggestions for Parents."
Finally as his children reached the teen years he quit
lecturing altogether!
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B. Childrearing is difficult because sin is at the root of humans.
1) Children are bent.
a) Folly is bound up in the heart of a child..." Prov 22:15
b) Parents must give kids values.
Dr. Alberta Siegel, a professor of psychology at Stanford
University writes:
"When it comes to rearing children, every society is only
20 years away from barbarism.
Twenty years is all we have to accomplish the task of
civilizing the infants who are born into our midst
each year.
These savages know nothing of our language, our culture,
our religion, our values or our customs.
The infant is totally ignorant about communism, fascism,
democracy, civil liberties, the rights of the minority.
The barbarian must be tamed if civilization is to survive."
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2) Parents are also prone to sin.
a) (Calvin & Hobbes cartoon)
(Dad is sitting at a desk in the living room, balancing
his checkbook. Calvin enters carrying a clipboard.)
CALVIN: Dad, your polls took a big dive this week.
Your "Overall Dad Performance" rating was especially low.
(He hands the clipboard to Dad.)
See? Right about yesterday your popularity went down the
tubes.
DAD: CALVIN, YOU DIDN'T GET DESSERT YESTERDAY BECAUSE
YOU FLOODED THE HOUSE!!
(Calvin walks away as he replies:)
CALVIN: I'd suggest a new line of work, "DAD"....
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b) Paul's warning: Don't exasperate your kids. Eph 6:4
C. The Bible gives advice on how to control sin and build your kids
from the right foundation.
II. Does God have a guaranteed formula for raising kids?
A. Common view is that Christian parents should see Proverbs 22:6 as
a promise from God.
1) Be sure your child is in Sunday school and church on a
regular basis.
2) Say bedtime prayers, send them to summer camp.
3) In their teen years they will rebel and sow wild oats.
4) However, the child will eventually stagger back to God.
B. Better view: the proper training of a child will endure
throughout their life.
1) There are no guarantees of success: even Proverbs sees the
possibility of having rotten kids.
a) Good homes can produce lazy kids. 10:5
b) Good homes can produce fresh mouths. 13:1
c) Good homes can produce party animals. 29:3
2) Yet the principles within the Bible can help.
3) Many Christian families have raised consistently decent kids.
III. Train up a child. 22:6
A. At the root of the word "train" is the meaning "to dedicate."
1) Used of dedicating houses and temples to God's use.
2) We train our kids for a PURPOSE.
a) Don't just "hope they'll turn out all right."
b) Guide them to goal of a life that honors God.
B. Children left to themselves turn out rotten. 29:15
1) And yet we cannot manipulate them like puppets.
2) We can guide them, but they must make right choices. 2:1
3) Our job is to show them clearly what those choices are.
C. How NOT to train your kids: (Houston Police Department)
1. Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants.
In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him
a living.
2. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he is 21 and
then let him decide for himself.
3. Avoid use of the word "wrong". He may develop a guilt complex.
This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested
for stealing a car that society is against him and he is
being persecuted.
4. Pick up everything he leaves lying around--books, shoes, and
clothing. Do everything for him so he will be experienced
in throwing all responsibility onto others.
5. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. See
that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to
harmful frustration.
6. Take his side against neighbors, teachers and policemen.
They are all prejudiced against your child.
7. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by
saying, "I never could do anything with him."
8. Prepare for a life of grief. You will be apt to have it.
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IV. In the way he should go. 22:6
A. Literally, "according to HIS way."
1) Popular interpretation: according to the child's own way.
a) Consider their ability and potential.
2) Proverbs portrays only 2 ways: the way of the wise &
righteous, or the way of the fool and the wicked.
a) Natural bents don't need training.
b) Unnatural (sinful) ones do.
3) "His way" equals the manner of life to which he is destined.
a) Decide how you want your child to end up, and train them
accordingly.
B. Train by positive and negative instruction.
1) The Bible emphasizes commands and precepts.
2) Teach children that all actions have consequences - eternally.
C. Train by example.
1) Your actions speak louder than words.
2) Not just doing the right thing, but how you handle the
aftermath of wrong actions.
V. When he is old, he will not turn from it.
A. Habits stay with us - and can be hard to break.
1) Most bad habits start when we're young. (smoking)
2) Good habits should also start young. 4:3
B. Will our children be moral?
C. Will our children be committed to Jesus?
Copyright © 2024 by Rev. David Holwick
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