Rev. David Holwick T Series on Proverbs
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
July 9, 2006
Proverbs 25:28
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I. Are you in the driver's seat?
During Hollywood's golden years there were many people in the
film industry who were known for their practical jokes.
One of the best known and most creative was a fellow by the
name of Jack McDermott.
He was a writer and director of movies.
McDermott's favorite gag was to take his guests for a ride in
his Model-T Ford.
Taking them into the mountains, he would careen around curves
at perilous speeds.
When a guest would complain about his recklessness, he would
yank the steering wheel from its post and toss it over the
mountainside.
His panic-stricken rider didn't know that he had installed
foot controls for steering.
#2892
A. Not everyone knows how to steer.
1) We all know people who have messed up their lives.
a) Perhaps they are in your neighborhood - or your family.
b) Maybe you yourself are perilously close to this.
2) It is possible to gain control of your life.
a) In the big areas of life, and the little ones, you have
to know how to steer.
b) The key is self-control.
3) Advice from motivational expert John Maxwell:
"I define self-control, in the beginning of life, as the
choice of achieving what I really want by doing things
I really don't want to do.
Once this becomes a habit, discipline becomes the choice
of achieving what I really want by doing the very things
I now want to do!
I really believe that a disciplined life becomes a joy -
but only after we have worked hard to practice it."
#17846
B. Proverbs gives practical advice on self-control.
1) It covers everything from your top down.
II. Control Your Brain - Alcohol.
A. Is drinking a big issue?
1) Alcohol ads seem to dominate sporting events on TV.
2) Many people cannot imagine living without alcohol.
3) Churches have preached about it for 2,000 years.
4) What does Proverbs have to say about it?
B. Affects of drinking.
1) Associated with antisocial behavior. 20:1
20:1 Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led
astray by them is not wise.
a) Mocking and fighting.
b) Many broken families can point to alcohol as the main
fuel for their conflict.
2) Dulls the senses. 23:21
a) Swaying back and forth like a ship's rigging. 23:34
b) They don't remember their misery, even as it
multiplies. 31:7
c) Ultimately, hallucinations. 23:33
23:33 Your eyes will see strange sights and your mind
imagine confusing things.
Remember Jack McDermott, the Hollywood prankster?
He also had a house replete with secret tunnels and
sliding panels.
It was best known for the wild parties held there.
The house featured a hidden room which was upside-down.
The rugs and furniture were fastened to the ceiling
and the drapes, pictures and even the fireplace were
upside down.
The floor had an elaborate chandelier thrust upwards
from its center.
When a house guest would have too much to drink,
McDermott would take him into this special room and
place him on the floor.
You can imagine what it felt like to wake up there.
It would give him a taste of what Proverbs is talking
about!
#2892
3) Poisons over the long term. 23:32
a) Leads to poverty. 21:17
b) Leads to addiction. 23:35
23:35 "They hit me," you will say, "but I'm not hurt!
They beat me, but I don't feel it! When will
I wake up so I can find another drink?"
C. Baptists and booze.
1) Traditionally, we have preached abstinence.
a) Abstinence received a bad name due to Prohibition.
b) Today, even many Christians drink socially.
1> Majority of drinkers seem to handle it.
2> A significant number do not.
A> Within this church, there are those who are
recovering alcoholics.
B> Who can tell what your experience will be?
No one...
C> Southern Baptist leader Adrian Rogers once said:
"Moderation is not the cure for the liquor problem.
Moderation is the CAUSE of the liquor problem.
Becoming an alcoholic does not begin with the last drink,
it always begins with the first.
Just leave it alone."
#32748
3> Those who abstain will never become addicted.
2) Does the Bible condemn alcohol?
a) Some believe it does, but I do not.
1> For his first miracle, Jesus miraculously
transformed 120 gallons of water into wine at a
wedding in the town of Cana.
A> (Though many Baptists argue it was just
high-quality grape juice.)
2> Jesus served wine at the Last Supper.
b) However, the Bible consistently and thoroughly condemns
drunkenness.
1> These passages in Proverbs highlight why.
c) The Bible also praises those who totally abstain.
1> Rechabites in Jeremiah's day. Jeremiah 35
They were sort of like the Amish - they lived in
tents rather than houses and followed the
ancient traditions.
One key practice they were known for - they didn't
touch alcohol.
Jeremiah promised them they would always have a
special place in the service of God.
2> Even if abstinence is not a command for Christians,
I think it is the wisest policy.
3) The Bible's alternative to alcohol.
a) Be filled with the Spirit. Eph 5:18
b) The joy of a committed Christian life is better than
the buzz of booze.
III. Control Your Mouth - Words.
A. Keep them few. 10:19, 11:12
10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds
his tongue is wise.
1) Limit your criticism. 11:12
Mary Winkler had issues with her husband, a pastor.
"He had really been on me lately, criticizing me for
things - the way I walk, I eat, everything.
It was just building up to a point.
I was tired of it.
I guess I got to a point and snapped."
By "snapped" she means she pulled out a shotgun and
murdered him.
An extreme illustration to be sure, but constant criticism
can eat away at people.
#32709
B. Keep them positive. 12:18, 16:24
1) Make sure your words build others up and promote healing.
12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the
tongue of the wise brings healing.
2) Gentle words work best. 25:15
25:15 Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and
a gentle tongue can break a bone.
a) "Break a bone" - that's a lot of power!
b) Of course, it means conversation can be more potent
than conflict. Gentleness is not a sinister way to
hurt people!
C. Keep them true.
1) Beware of flattery. 26:28
26:28 A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a
flattering mouth works ruin.
a) Watch your motives in what you say.
IV. Control Your Heart - Temper.
A. Rage is a big problem these days - and always has been.
1) Boiling emotions don't prove sincerity. 29:11
29:11 A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a
wise man keeps himself under control.
2) Anger often leads to conflict. 30:33
30:33 For as churning the milk produces butter, and as
twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up
anger produces strife."
B. Use self-control to make your point.
1) Gentleness can turn rage into understanding. 15:1
15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word
stirs up anger.
2) Patience is an incredible virtue.
Abilene, Kansas: October 1900.
It was Halloween night, and ten year old Dwight Eisenhower
was so angry his face was flushed with red.
His older brothers were allowed to go trick-or-treating,
but Dwight had to stay home.
"You're too young to go out," his father, David, told him.
Young Ike burst into tears, ran into the yard and began
punching the trunk of an apple tree.
He later recalled: "My dad suddenly had me by the collar
and I was getting a tanning."
Then he sent Ike to bed.
The boy's mother, Ida, came into his room with a word of
Scriptural advice:
Proverbs 16:32 "Better a patient man than a warrior,
a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city."
When he was 76, Ike wrote: "I have always looked back on
that conversation as one of the most valuable moments of
my life."
Ike gained a reputation as a calm and unifying commander
of the Allied forces.
In the end, he not only took a city, but a continent.
#1437
V. Control Your Loins - Sex.
A. Proverbs gives more advice here than any other area.
1) Bear in mind, he is giving advice to a young man.
a) Also bear in mind, it takes TWO "to tango."
2) Sex is a weakness for many people, including Solomon.
Women - do you know where your husband is going to be
tonight?
Apparently many women are asking this question, judging
by the sales and buzz generated by a book last year.
It was called "THE SCRIPT: THE 100% ABSOLUTELY PREDICTABLE
THINGS MEN DO WHEN THEY CHEAT."
The book aimed to educate women on how to see the "warning
signs" that their husband is "running around."
A list of possible clues: a sudden interest in the gym,
buying expensive gifts for his wife, emotional distance.
#29803
B. What sex outside of marriage forgets to consider.
1) It doesn't consider long-term consequences. 5:6
5:6 [An adulteress] gives no thought to the way of life;
her paths are crooked, but she knows it not.
a) Most adultery focuses on infatuation.
Adultery always follows a script, as that book reminds us.
This script includes the thrill of romance, a romance that
is newer and thus more hormonally sparked than
long-lasting love.
The adulteress persuades a man, as a butcher slaughters a
cow (Proverbs 7:22).
#29803
2) It doesn't consider God. 5:20-21
5:20 Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why
embrace the bosom of another man's wife?
5:21 For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD, and
he examines all his paths.
C. Sex has power.
1) It is attractive for a reason.
a) God made us with these desires.
b) The ungodly manipulate these desires.
1> They entice, but for selfish ends. 5:3-4
2) The power of sex must be controlled.
a) It has the power to destroy you. 6:32
b) But used correctly, it has the power to bring joy.
Fidelity is sexier than adultery.
VI. Control Your Feet - Peers.
A. Who do you walk with?
1) Walk with the wise and you'll grow wise. 13:20
2) Walk with sinners and you'll get burned. 1:10-18
All parents are concerned about the kids who hang around
with their own kids.
What about YOUR friends?
Consider the people you hang around with.
Do they uphold the values that are important to you?
Do they bring out the best in you, or the worst?
Do they encourage you, or run you down?
B. Quality matters more than quantity. 18:24
1) You don't need a lot of friends, just a few good ones.
18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but
there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
2) The ultimate test for a real friend - could you call them
up at 2:00 a.m. with a personal problem, and be
confident they wouldn't hang up on you?
VII. Self-control molds us into the people God wants us to be.
A. Self-control really means God is in control.
B. What areas of your life need his power?
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
# 1437 "Ike: The Man Behind The Soldier," by Edward Ziegler, Readers'
Digest, March 1991, page 136.
# 2892 "Waking To A World Upside Down," Dynamic Preaching (www.sermons.com)
Disk "A", June 1993.
#17846 "Quotes On Self-Control," by various people including John Maxwell.
#29803 "Romance, Adultery And The American Church," by Russell D. Moore,
Baptist Press, http://www.baptistpress.org/, August 10, 2005.
#32709 "Wife Shot Minister To Death After Fight," by Woody Baird, America
Online, June 30, 2006.
#32748 "The Case For Alcohol Abstinence," by Daniel L. Akin, Baptist Press,
http://www.baptistpress.org/, June 28, 2006.
These and 30,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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