Rev. David Holwick N Mother's Day
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
May 14, 2006
Proverbs 22:6; 23:22; 30:17
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I. What is truly fulfilling?
What's the most important thing most of us will do?
The answer is, obviously, raise our kids.
And that's what NEW YORK TIMES columnist David Brooks wrote in a
newspaper column.
But believe it or not, he caught all sorts of grief.
Brooks was responding to a recent piece in the AMERICAN PROSPECT
magazine by Linda Hirshman of Brandeis University.
She criticized the idea that staying home with the kids is just
as feminist as having a career.
For Hirshman, "the family -- with its repetitious, socially
invisible, physical tasks --...allows fewer opportunities for
full human flourishing" than a career in business or government.
Brooks called this argument "astonishing."
Then he urged his readers to look back over their own lives.
He asked, "which memories do you cherish more, those with your
family or those at the office?"
Guess what kind of reaction Brooks got to his column - lots of
hate mail.
He was accused of having a "problem with educated, achieving women."
They caricatured his position as saying that women should be
content with "birthin' babies and fixin' vittles."
#30391
A. In the Bible, children are a priority.
1) It's a responsibility for both parents, not just mothers.
2) If we get it wrong, society will collapse.
B. So the Bible gives us advice on how to do it right.
II. Train up your kids. 22:6
A. As I mentioned last week, it is a process more than a promise.
1) James Dobson did a survey of 853 parents and found that
of their rebellious children, now grown:
53% accept the values of their parents,
32% somewhat accept their values,
only 15% still reject their parents' values.
B. What values do you want to pass on?
1) What are you doing about it?
III. Dealing with bents.
A. Kids are warped.
1) Concept of Original Sin - all of us are bent from perfect.
a) We are not totally bad, but bad is always there.
2) Good parents can help kids get those kinks out.
a) There is a heavy penalty for failing at this --
Proverbs 30:17 says,
"The eye that mocks a father,
that scorns obedience to a mother,
will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley...
b) Don't you love the picturesque language of the Bible?
B. Oppose the bad bents.
1) Many of a child's bents are of the warped variety.
a) We are born with a sinful nature. Ps 51:5
b) They don't have to be taught to do wrong.
c) Many of the Bible's proverbs focus on the wayward
tendencies of children.
2) Straighten your kids out.
a) First, lead your child to a knowledge of Jesus as Lord.
1> Their salvation should be your highest priority.
2> Morality flows from that salvation.
b) "Raymond" star Patricia Heaton:
Patricia Heaton is one of the better known stars on TV, playing
the wife on "Everybody Loves Raymond."
She grew up Catholic but became bitter with God after her mother
died.
Ironically, it was in Hollywood that she reconnected with God.
She had her epiphany while on a church mission trip to Mexico.
They laid a sewer pipe and played with orphaned children.
Back at home, Patricia says she felt something she hadn't felt
in her past years of struggle - peace.
The weekend trip had changed something inside her.
She had been involved in something that wasn't about her.
She is now a member of an evangelical Presbyterian church.
Patricia says, "If you give your life to God, he doesn't promise
you happiness and that everything will go well.
But he does promise you peace.
You can have peace and joy, even in bad circumstances."
Heaton wants her own children to know that peace.
She says, "More than anything, I want my children to have a
personal, daily relationship with the Lord.
We read Bible stories, and I try to introduce Jesus into the
conversation as much as possible to make it a part of their
thinking - a God-and-Christ consciousness."
#26819
c) Deal with wrong as it occurs.
1> They should know wrong won't be permitted.
2> Permissiveness is dangerous. Prov 29:15
"The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a
child left to himself disgraces his mother."
3> Leonardo Da Vinci wrote: "He who does not
punish evil, commands it to be done."
d) Police their environment. Prov 22:3
1> Things we can control: TV, telephones, car keys.
2> Peer influence.
C. Grooming the good bents. Psalm 103:13-15
1) Each child has been put together in a unique way.
a) Mold them according to their personality and talents.
b) Cultivate the skills and abilities they have.
c) Acknowledge these traits, encourage them, invest in them.
2) Don't force your kids to fulfill what you couldn't.
a) Daniel won't be the star football player I wasn't...
b) Neither will Josiah.
IV. Advice from a preacher's wife.
Susannah Wesley (1669-1742) was a London pastor's wife and the
mother of nineteen children.
Among them were hymn writer Charles Wesley and John Wesley,
evangelist and found of Methodism.
In his journal, John Wesley recorded his mother's rules for the
family [paraphrased]:
A. Fear of punishment often leads children into lying, till they
get accustomed to it and cannot stop.
To prevent this, Susannah made a rule that whenever someone did
something wrong, if they would sincerely confess it, and
promise to change their behavior, they would not be punished.
B. No sinful action, such as lying, stealing, playing in church,
being disobedient, fighting, etc., would ever go unpunished.
C. No child should be punished twice for the same error, and if
they change their behavior the error should never be
mentioned again.
D. Every act of obedience, especially when it went against their
nature, should always be complimented, and frequently
rewarded.
E. If any child was obedient or tried to please the parents, even
if it wasn't done that well, the obedience was kindly
accepted and the child encouraged to do even better in the
future.
F. The property of the children would be respected, even the
smallest object, and not taken away from them unless they
agreed.
G. Promises should be strictly kept. Once a gift is given it could
not be taken back, unless it was a conditional gift and the
agreement it was based on was violated.
from "The Heart of John Wesley's Journal"
#3743
V. Dedicated childrearing will bear its fruit.
Back in the 1960s a young man named Tim Lee was growing up in a
Christian family.
As a matter of fact, his father was a preacher.
When Tim became a teenager he began to rebel against the
restrictions his mother and father put on him.
Finally Tim Lee became so fed up with his home life he ran off
and joined the Marines.
They trained him and shipped him off to an Asian country called
Vietnam.
Imagine how his mother felt.
She loved her son and had nurtured his faith when he was young.
If she put restrictions on him, it was because she wanted to direct
his life in God's ways.
But he had rebelled, rejected the faith and run away.
Now he was at war.
Where were God's promises?
Some of her worst fears soon came to pass.
Three months before he would have returned home, Tim was leading
his men through a mine-field.
He made one false step.
When he regained consciousness, a buddy was cradling him in his
arms and praying for him.
Both of Tim's legs were gone.
Tim uttered the most sincere prayer of his life - "God, if you'll
just let me live, I promise I'll serve you."
Tim Lee survived, and he kept his promise.
In answer to his mother's prayers, he became a preacher, and has
led revivals across the United States.
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he
will not depart from it."
#2188
VI. Trained children should honor their moms.
A. Proverbs gives more warnings than advice.
1) There is little practical teaching on how to train kids.
2) But there are lots of warnings about the grief that
bad kids can bring their parents.
3) By the same token, good kids bring joy to their parents.
B. Honor your mother.
1) Best way to do this - by how you live.
2) You are the best reflection of her character.
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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
# 2188 "A Preacher's Prodigal Returns," taking from a hand-written sermon
of mine dated May 11, 1986. I forget the original source.
# 3743 "Your Baby Has Bents!" by Charles Swindoll, Discipleship Journal #47,
September/October 1988, page 31.
#26819 "How Everybody Loves Raymond's Patricia Heaton Keeps The Faith," by
Dan Ewald, edited by David Holwick, Www.christianitytoday.com;
Christian Reader, Jan/Feb 2004, page 18.
#30391 "Fighting The Future: 'Choice' and the Family," by Mark Earley,
BreakPoint Commentary, January 19, 2006.
These and 30,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
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