Rev. David Holwick ZI Men of Courage, #3
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey
November 10, 2013
Proverbs 3:1-6
|
I. On being a father.
A. We all have had one, but we may not all be one.
1) Many have noticed a trend to have less kids.
My father was a fanatic about genealogy so I have
some personal statistics.
Here is the average number of kids Holwick men have:
Men born in the 1900s - 3
Men born in the 1800s - 5
Men born in the 1700s - 8
Men born in the 1600s - 10
2) Some feminists have figured out we may not need dads at all.
a) Scientists can create embryos in the laboratory, but
they can't duplicate wombs yet.
b) So someday soon, they should be able to clone women
from modified stem cells.
1> Men would become superfluous so you wouldn't need
to create any of them.
2> Fortunately, for the time being, we still need
guys to perpetuate the human race.
B. Why have kids?
1) Childless couples are always asked why they haven't.
a) It is just as valid to ask couples why they have.
b) Kids are a huge responsibility - it is not for everyone.
2) I am experiencing the joys of an empty nest.
a) The house is quieter, cleaner.
b) Our schedules are much more streamlined.
c) Celeste and I can do fun things with each other.
3) My quiet home has allowed me to reflect on what being a
Christian dad should mean.
a) If you are going to have children, raise them right.
b) A survey of fathers by Family Circle Magazine a few
years ago found:
* 94% feel building a family is the hardest and most
important thing a man can do.
* 71% say fatherhood is more demanding than they
expected, while 88% say fatherhood is more rewarding.
* 90% say becoming a father made them want to be a
better person and role model for their kids.
* 75% feel a weight of responsibility now that they
didn't before.
#25571
II. Our first "Courageous Resolution" is to love our children.
A. God models this himself.
1) In 1 John 3:1 it says:
"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us,
that we should be called children of God!"
2) Jesus used the word "Father" to describe God because it
is one of the closest relationships humans have.
3) It isn't always that way with us, but it should be.
B. Be open and authentic with them.
1) I have always had respect for the great 19th century
evangelist, Dwight L. Moody.
He was the Billy Graham of the 1800s.
This week I learned Moody was also a very caring father.
His son Willie reported that it was not unusual for his
father to come to one of his children lying in bed late
at night and say something like this:
"Are you awake? I can't go to sleep till I talk to you.
I'm sorry I lost my temper."
As a teenager Willie wrote this tribute to his famous
father:
"Other kids tell me they cannot go to their dads and
just talk and hope to be understood;
they say they can't because their dads are 'always right'
and they are 'always wrong'.
They can't talk to their dads the way I can talk to you.
I could always talk to you. You always understood.
There was nothing I could not tell you."
#64291
2) Will your kids say that about you?
Lots of Christian fathers follow the Charleton Heston
approach, coming down Mount Sinai with two handfuls of
commands.
We become associated with sternness, not gentleness.
Dan Benson, in his book "The Total Man," says that for
every positive word that most dads say to their
children, they say 10 negative ones.
They're really good at words like "Don't" and "You can't"
and "Stop that," and "No."
But they're not very good at the positive words.
Benson suggests that we could change the whole personality
of our relationship with our children if we just
learned to be positive, and influence things in a
positive way.
#64295
C. Show your children affection.
1) Be like Jesus, who enfolded small children in his arms
and blessed them, when those around him didn't have
the time or inclination. Mark 10:16
2) Hugs and kisses are just as appropriate from you as from
their mother - even when your kids are adults.
3) Be gentle with them.
The Apostle Paul didn't have any kids that we know of, but
he used the father/child image to describe his
relationship with his converts.
In 1 Corinthians 4:21 he presents the classic option of
all fathers when he asks:
"What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip,
or in love and with a gentle spirit?"
For 2,000 years, kids given the same answer...
III. Give them a man's perspective on life.
A. Children need male and female models.
1) A multitude of studies has shown that kids do best when
they are raised with the influence of a father and a
mother.
2) In areas where fathers are absent, everything falls apart.
a) A classic case is Newark, where 60% of the kids are
growing up without fathers.
b) A child born to a single parent in Newark has more
than a one-in-five chance of living in poverty.
A child in a two-parent home there has just a
one-in-twelve chance. #24900
B. Proximity is not enough.
1) You can live under the same roof as your kids and have
little influence on them.
2) You have to spend time with your kids.
a) Go to the games, the school plays, the birthday parties
and thousand other activities.
b) You cannot parent them from a distance.
3) More important, use these activities to teach your kids the
principles of teamwork, sharing, honesty, and
consideration of others.
4) Notice the goals of a father's instruction in Proverbs 3.
a) We want our kids to live a long life. 3:2
b) We want them to prosper.
c) We want them to have a good reputation in the
community - and with God. 3:4
IV. Teach your kids to respect authority.
A. True love establishes boundaries.
1) The "Courageous Pledge" asks fathers to train their kids
to honor authority and live responsibly.
2) "Authority" is almost a dirty word these days.
a) It shouldn't be.
b) Authority has been woven into life by God himself.
3) Fatherhood is not a popularity contest.
a) We all want to be loved by our kids, but don't belittle
the importance of respect.
b) Children are oblivious to danger so we have to protect
them in a consistent and firm way.
B. Begin by raising them to respect YOU.
1) Don't treat them in a way that would make them resent you.
A golfer's sad story.
Marc O'Hair had a son who was a golfing prodigy.
So he disciplined Sean like a drill sergeant.
He made his son get up at 5:00 a.m. every morning to
exercise, then kept him on a golf course for 9 hours.
Whenever Sean failed to do a hole in par, his dad made
him run a mile.
He berated his son in public.
To top it off, Marc made his son sign two contracts
that gave the dad 10% of the son's lifetime earnings.
Sean told a reporter he felt more like an investment
than a son.
By 2002, Sean had tolerated enough abuse from his dad,
and he was in love with a young woman.
Sean married her, and his dad came to the wedding.
But he and Sean have not spoken since.
Sean has a good marriage, and he has bonded with his
in-laws.
He doesn't let golf define who he is as a person.
The one who has lost is his overbearing dad.
#29679
2) The Bible's advice - don't exasperate your children. Eph 6:4
C. Teach respect of teachers, police, and the government.
1) We don't surrender our children to these groups, but we
should work with them.
2) These authorities are not their enemies, current rhetoric
notwithstanding.
3) If we all work together, our whole society will advance.
V. Raise your kids in faith.
A. This is probably the most critical area for a Christian father.
1) It is also the hardest.
2) To raise kids in faith, fathers need to have their own faith.
a) Do you believe in the Lord?
b) Have you had a personal experience of salvation?
B. Faith is much more than teaching values or attending church.
1) We want our kids to have a genuine relationship with God.
2) We pledge to bless our children and teach them to love God
with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all
of their strength.
a) Proverbs 3 paints an image for us.
b) They should bind God's love around their necks,
and write it on their hearts.
C. Teach them about God in a meaningful way.
1) Let them ask questions and don't give canned answers.
2) Pray for your kids, and WITH your kids.
3) Apply spiritual principles to the everyday events of life.
D. Someday you will be gone.
1) What will they take with them for the rest of their life?
2) What will they have for eternity?
3) A great deal depends on what you are doing now.
=========================================================================
SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:
#24900 “Without Fathers, Without Rules, Without Consequences, Without
Hope,” Dr. R. Albert Mohler Jr., President of Southern Baptist
Theological Seminary, http://www.albertmohler.com, August 27, 2007.
#25571 “What Fathers Think,” contributed By Jim Kane, newsletter of
www.sermoncentral.com, September 9, 2003. The original source
was Family Circle magazine, 2003, and the secondary source was
Focus on the Family’s “Pastor’s Weekly Update.”
#29679 “Rising Above a Father's Mistakes,” Tim Ellsworth, Baptist Press,
http://www.baptistpress.org, July 14, 2005.
#64291 “Moody Was A Gentle Father,” Rev. King Duncan, Kerux Sermon #23120.
#64295 “Fathers Should Work At Being Positive,” Rev. Melvin M. Newland,
Kerux Sermon #64124, June 20, 1999.
These and 35,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be
downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html
=========================================================================
Courageous Resolution
I do solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for
myself, my wife, and my children.
I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the
Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.
I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing
to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.
I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.
I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.
I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness, respect, and
compassion.
I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.
I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those
I have wronged.
I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with
integrity as a man answerable to God.
I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word,
and do His will.
I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill
this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. -Joshua 24:15?
Copyright © 2024 by Rev. David Holwick
Created with the Freeware Edition of HelpNDoc: Full featured Documentation generator