Psalm 34      Healing Your Inner Hurts

Rev. David Holwick   A                      Dealing With Your Deepest Needs

First Baptist Church

Ledgewood, New Jersey

January 2, 2011

Psalm 34:6-8,17-19


HEALING YOUR INNER HURTS



  I. Your hurt list.

      A. Who has the best wounds?

          1) How many of you have been stabbed?

          2) Shot?

          3) Had open heart surgery?

          4) Had laparoscopic surgery?  You don't rate.


      B. A classic scene from the movie "Jaws."


         Captain Quint, Officer Brody and Researcher Hooper are passing

            time on their boat while they hunt the Great White Shark.

         After too many beers, Quint and Hooper begin comparing wounds.

            One was bit by a shark, another was stabbed by a manta ray.

         Finally Hooper opens his shirt and points to his heart.

            "You see that?  That there.  Mary Ellen Moffat.

                She broke my heart."


          1) The worst wounds are usually invisible to others.

          2) Where hidden wounds come from.

              a) Memories of ridicule or severe criticism.

              b) Being the object of hatred and prejudices.

              c) Being bullied or abused, especially in your family.

              d) Even churches can wound you.


II. Hurts need to be healed.

      A. Untreated wounds only get worse.

          1) They fester and spread poison to the rest of our body.

          2) Writers in the Bible realized how inner turmoil led to

                physical turmoil:


             Psalm 31:10 - "My life is consumed by anguish and my

                years by groaning; my strength fails because of my

                   affliction, and my bones grow weak."


             Psalm 39:2-3 - "When I was silent and still, not even

                saying anything good, my anguish increased.  My heart

                   grew hot within me, and as I meditated, the fire

                      burned...."


          3) Don't be hurt twice.

              a) If you keep rehearsing a past wound, you allow someone

                    to hurt you over and over again.

              b) There's a word for rehearsing a hurt over and over again

                    in your mind -- resentment.

                  1> That literally means, "to cut again."

                  2> Every time you nurse an old wound, you're cutting

                        yourself again.

                                                                   #35981


      B. Our God is a healing God.

          1) One of his names in the Old Testament is Jehovah Rapha.

              a) "The Lord who heals you."                   Exodus 15:26

              b) He cares when our hearts are broken.        Psalm 34:18

                  1> This is why David knows he can calls to him.

                  2> He knows God can do something positive about it.

          2) God often uses a process to heal, a series of steps.

              a) Pastor Bill Robey has identified five of them. [1]


III. The steps God uses to heal.

      A. Healing begins when we open up about our hurt.

          1) Ignoring it or being stoical doesn't resolve it.

          2) We need to become honest about our situation.

              a) Be honest with ourselves.

                  1> We need to face our hurt feelings.

                  2> Address the pain, fear, anger, resentment and

                        bitterness you are holding inside.

              b) Be honest with God.

                  1> Just like the writers of the Psalms, you can tell

                        God what you are upset about.

                  2> Sometimes the emotions in the Psalms can get pretty

                        raw, such as cries for vengeance.

                      A> It is acceptable to vent everything to God, as

                            long as you are putting it in his hands.

              c) Be honest with one person you can trust.

                  1> It can be helpful to share your hurts with another

                        human being.

                  2> To be honest, sometimes when you talk with God,

                        you feel you are really just talking to yourself.

                  3> Someone who is flesh-and-blood, who can respond to

                        your situation, can make a difference.


      B. We must release those who have hurt us.

          1) We must give up the fantasies of vengeance.

              a) That is something you have to leave to God - which

                    is what the Psalm writers were doing.

              b) You can't get well if you are focused on getting even.

          2) Forgiveness is the key to healing.

              a) Several years ago Time magazine ran an article entitled,

                    "Should all be forgiven?"


                 The article headline stated: "Giving up that grudge can

                    be good for your health.

                 Researchers are pioneering a new science of redemption

                    based on the old form of grace."


                 Scientists are finally proving what Jesus taught over

                    2,000 years ago.

                 You can't hold on to a hidden hurt and enjoy life.

                   You've got to let it go.


                 The Apostle Paul also recognized this truth.

                 In Romans 12:17,19 he wrote:

                    "Never repay anyone evil for evil. ...

                    Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for

                       God's wrath.

                    For it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will

                       repay,' says the Lord."


                 In other words, trust God to balance the books.

                    God knows what has happened in your life.

                       God knows your hurt.


                 You either can spend the rest of your life hurting inside

                    while you try to even the score, or you can trust God

                       to take care of the score and let go of the hurt!


              b) Jesus is the best example.

                  1> He was betrayed and abandoned by his friends.

                  2> He faced the epitome of injustice.

                  3> Yet he did not retaliate, but left his fate in

                        his Father's hands.

          3) You must break the chain of bitterness.

              a) Hidden hurts can get passed down generation to

                    generation.

              b) Bitter parents will pass down that attitude and poison

                    their kids.

              c) You must be the one who stops the pain before it gets

                    inherited.

                  1> Forgive the one who hurt you.


      C. Replace hurtful memories with God's truths.

          1) Hurts from childhood can stay with us a long time.

              a) Names we were called.

              b) Criticisms that adults made about us.

              c) All the garbage from our past can form a script that

                    we follow for years and years.

          2) Replace old scripts with God's new truth about who you are.

              a) Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the

                    pattern of this world, but be transformed by the

                       renewing of your mind."

              b) Christians should think about themselves in a new way.

                  1> You are not what the world says you are.

                  2> You are what your loving God says you are.

          3) Thorns are as important as roses.


             A few years ago Roxanne Ippolito sent me an email.

                It was about a woman named Sandra.


             Sandra had had an easy life, until a minor car accident

                caused her to miscarry the child she had carried for

                   four months.

             She grieved over the loss of her child, who would have

                been a son.

             A Christian friend had infuriated her by suggesting her

                grief was a God-given path to maturity.

             It would allow her to empathize with others who suffer.

                Sandra rejected that idea.


             A visit to a florist shop for a Thanksgiving arrangement

                gave her a new perspective.

             The clerk asked her if she wanted something beautiful but

                ordinary, or what the clerk called her "Thanksgiving

                   Special."


             Just then another customer walked in for her order, and

                the clerk handed her an arrangement of long-stemmed

                   thorny roses.

             Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped -

                - there were no flowers.


             Sandra thought it must be a cruel joke.

                The clerk explained it to her.

             "Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling much

                like you feel today.

             She thought she had very little to be thankful for.

             She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was

                failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing

                   major surgery."


             The clerk continued.

             "That same year I had lost my husband and for the first

                time in my life, had just spent the holidays alone.

             I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too

                much a debt to allow any travel.

             I learned to be thankful for thorns.


             "I've always thanked God for good things in life and never

                to ask Him why those good things happened to me.

             But when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask!

             It took time for me to learn that dark times are important.


             "I have always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took

                thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort.

             You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're

                afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort

                   others."


             Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very

                thing her friend had tried to tell her.

             "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort.

                I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."


             The clerk replied carefully.

             "My experience has shown me that thorns make roses more

                precious.

             We treasure God's providential care more during trouble

                than at any other time.


             "Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we

                might know His love.

             Don't resent the thorns."


             Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks.

             For the first time since the accident, she loosened her

                grip on resentment.

             "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please,"

                she managed to choke out.


             "I hoped you would," said the clerk gently.

                "I'll have them ready in a minute."

             "Thank you. What do I owe you?"


             "Nothing.  Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal

                your heart."                                       #16699


      D. Refocus from the past to the future.

          1) Paul's advice in Philippians 3:13-14 --

                Forget what is behind, strain toward what is ahead.

                Press on toward the heavenly goal.

          2) Hurts can control you only if you let them.

              a) Choose to re-aim your focus.


      E. Reach out to help others.

          1) You can only be effective for this step when your hurts

                are starting to heal.

          2) As you recover, you will be better equipped to help others

                in a similar situation.

          3) Paul says in 2 Cor 1:4 - "God comforts us in all our

                troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble

                   with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."


IV. You are not alone.

      A. One of the great purposes of the church is to support people.

          1) You will find others who have been where you are now.

          2) You will find someone who can help you.

          3) You will find someone you can help.


      B. Everyone has wounds of one kind or another.

          1) And everyone can have those wounds healed.

          2) Here is a poem that sums up God's offer to you:


                It doesn't matter who you are.

                It doesn't matter where you've been.

                It doesn't matter what the scar.


                It doesn't matter what the sin.

                It doesn't matter how you fell.

                It doesn't matter what's your hell.


                It only matters - hear God say -

                "There's healing for your life...today." [2]



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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:


[1] Rev. Bill Robey, How God Heals Your Hidden Wounds, Sumner First

      Christian Church of Sumner, Washington, Kerux Sermon #62972.  I

      suspect there is an original sermon by Rick Warren somewhere -

      various pastors have sermons that follow the same rough outline and

      it certainly echoes Warrens style.


[2] Poem is quoted from Kerux Sermon #62970, How God Heals Your Hidden

      Wounds, by an unknown pastor at Risen Christ Lutheran Church of

      Stillwater, Minnesota.


#16699  The Thanksgiving Bouquet Special - the Value of Thorns, email

           submitted by Roxanne Ippolito, March 23, 2003.


#35981  Don't Get Cut Again, by Rick Warren (from his Ministry Toolbox

           newsletter), Preaching Now, www.preaching.com, August 18, 2009.


These and 35,000 others are part of the Kerux database that can be

downloaded, absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html

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