Psalm  68_ 3- 6      All in the Family

Rev. David Holwick   S                                  Family Concerns #1

First Baptist Church

Ledgewood, New Jersey

June 29, 2008

Psalm 68:3-6


ALL IN THE FAMILY



  I. There's nothing like togetherness.

      A. I just spent 4 weeks crammed into an RV with my in-laws.


            We had the smallest Class-C RV in the West.

               No bedroom, just a sofa-bed and a crawl space bed.

            It was narrow, too - two people couldn't pass in the

               center aisle.

            Grandma had to flee to the bathroom when I moved to the

               back.


            Celeste and I slept in the crawl space over the cab,

               and her parents slept on a fold-out sofa.

            A little ladder about eight inches wide came up to our

               berth, and their sofa-bed pushed it at an angle.

            When nature called in the middle of the night, my

               underwear would catch on the top of the ladder and I

                  hang there, twisting slowly in the wind.

            But we had a great time - no fights or arguments the entire

               trip.


      B. Even nature appreciates the benefits of family.


            Our most remarkable sight was a group of buffalo on the

               road south of Mammoth Springs, Yellowstone.

            We saw a car stopped, and the buffalo bunched up in front

               of it.

            We soon figured out why they were bunched up - a gray

               wolf was circling them.

            All their calves were in the center and the horned adults

               faced out.


            The wolf scampered off.  But the buffalo wouldn't budge.

               Eventually they began to amble down the road, bunched.

            Buffalo amble at around 2 miles per hour.

            They wouldn't turn into the woods or by the stream

               because the wolf might be there.

            All fifty of them just kept walking in a bunch.

               About 80 cars followed them.


            An 18-wheeler truck for Xantera, the concession company

               in Yellowstone, decided he wanted to get home.

            He passed us on the left and drove right up to the herd,

               inches away, trying to intimidate them.

            They didn't care.  They just kept ambling.  For 40 minutes.

               At least I have lots of photos.

               And no buffalo calves were eaten.


            Togetherness has its benefits!                       #35362


II. Families were invented by God.

      A. Left by themselves, people get lonely.

          1) Genesis 2:18 says Adam was lonely so God created Eve

                for him.

          2) Psalm 68 says God puts the lonely in families.


      B. A basic purpose of families should be companionship.

          1) We should accept one another, in spite of faults.

          2) We should spend time together and build each other up.

          3) And we should have a special focus on our kids, that they

                feel loved and appreciated.


III. Many families don't experience this closeness.

      A. Little communication.

          1) Television is a great killer of communication.

              a) The Holwicks now eat most of their meals at the kitchen

                    counter.

              b) What sits at the end of the counter?  A flat-screen TV.

          2) We fill our time with so many diversions we don't do that

                much together anymore.


      B. Ill-feelings toward one another, even hostility.

          1) Some families have let the "root of bitterness" take over.

          2) Assess your comments about one another: mostly positive or

                often cutting?


      C. Even Bible families experienced these issues.

          1) Adam and Eve played a blame game with each other.

          2) Cain, the first born human, murdered his brother.    Gen 4:8

          3) Sarah, the wife of Abraham and a most gorgeous woman by

                popular opinion, let her husband sleep with another

                   woman and then hated her for it.               Gen 16

          4) Job, the epitome of faith, suffered from the nagging of

                a faithless wife.                                 Job 2:9

          5) Samson, who put Arnold Schwarzenegger to shame, had a wife

                who betrayed him for money.  He ended up taking his own

                   life.                                          Judg 16

          6) King Saul was so proud he decided to kill his own son, but

                his army wouldn't let him.                    1 Sam 14:44

          7) David, the apple of God's eye, concealed his adultery with

                a murder.  His family was marred by sexual abuse and

                   internal violence thereafter.                 2 Sam 11

                                                                   #35123


      D. Dysfunction hits everyone.


            You can barely discuss families these days without hearing

               the term "dysfunctional."

            It is has made a wonderful excuse for all sorts of behavior.


            Pastor John MacArthur is a famous TV preacher who also does

               a lot of counseling on the side.

            And he hears a lot of griping about families.  He remarks:


            "I hear people say, 'But I come from a dysfunctional family.'

               Join the human race!

            I come from a dysfunctional family, I conduct a dysfunctional

               family, I am a dysfunctional human being, and so are you.


            "I cannot function the way God made me to function.

               I cannot do what I am supposed to do.

            I do what I don't want to do, and I don't do what I want to

               do - I am dysfunctional!

            I was raised with dysfunctional people.

            I still live with dysfunctional people, and they live with a

               dysfunctional person.

            That's the way it is if you are fallen."

                                                                     #965


            All of us are fallen, but failure doesn't have to be our

               destiny.

            God has a way for us to find joy and closeness.


IV. Your family can be more!

      A. Be more than just stuck with each other.

          1) The book of Proverbs says we should cherish our spouses

                and nurture our children.

          2) Your family can be an instrument of God's grace - or a tool

                of the devil.


      B. Keep a positive perspective.

          1) Our baby, Josiah.


                I was miffed with him this week.

                I drove his car back from Creation '08 and found his

                    back tire had 8 pounds of pressure in it, and there

                       was no spare in the trunk.

                Then I found out he got a $50 ticket from Hopatcong for

                   skateboarding without a helmet.


                Celeste called me from Creation Christian music festival

                   yesterday and I was ready to unload about him.

                But before I could, she told me that she had just had

                   the most amazing talk about spirituality with him.

                How he feels his faith is real and he wants to share it

                   with his girlfriend so he can pray with her like

                      Daniel prays with his girlfriend Kara.

                And how he is considering baptism, but he wants it to

                   be real and not just following the "herd."


                I had to admit that her Josiah story was better than mine.


          2) Frustrations with one another come easily.

              a) Work at keeping the big picture in mind.

              b) Creation speaker Justin Lookadoo and his weird cat.


                 Lookadoo didn't much appreciate his cat and never took

                    it to the vet.

                 But when he got engaged, his wife-to-be said if he

                    didn't take it to get its shots, she wouldn't let

                       it get near her cat.


                 So he took it to the vet.

                 And after a long assessment and several tests, the

                    vet came out to the waiting room.

                 He told Justin he had two choices - put down the

                    cat now, or take it home and watch it die a slow

                       and painful death.

                 It had feline leukemia.

                    Justin handed his cat to the vet.

                 He then drove off, but before long he pulled to the

                    side of the road and bawled his eyes out.


                 Before he had left his cat, he took off its collar

                    and put it on his own wrist as a bracelet.

                 Whenever he looks at that bracelet, he says to himself,

                    "I wish I hadda..."

                                                                      #9558


              c) Don't take your family for granted.

                  1> Even the hard-to-love ones.

                  2> Just work harder at loving them.


  V. Our families reflect our faith.

      A. Paul uses "family" to describe our relationship with God. Eph 3:15

          1) Our own families fall short of this perfection, but God

                can still use us.

          2) Does your family have a spiritual dimension?

              a) Do you know where each member stands with the Lord?

              b) On my vacation, I began thinking of this as a pastor.


                 We get so used to each other in church, it is easy

                    to make assumptions.

                 But not everyone here really knows the Lord.


                 Last night I got a call around 10:00.

                    I could hear loud pumping music in the background.

                 It was Stephanie (I think) and she called to tell me

                    that the speaker had given an invitation to the kids

                       to make a decision for Christ.

                 Stephanie, Emily, Daniel, Jamie, Aaron, Jeremy, Shauna,

                    and Nicole had all gone forward to accept Christ.

                 And they wanted me to know this.


                 We can train our kids in the ways of the Lord, but we

                    cannot force them.

                 But if we train them diligently, the fruit will come.


      B. Sometimes it is a hard road.


            Creation speaker Ron Luce told the story of his own family

               growing up.

            They were the poster children for a dysfunctional home.


            His father abandoned them when Ron was 7.

            When he was fifteen, he ran away from his mother, who beat

               him, to look for his father.

            Luce was certain his father would save him.


            He found him near San Francisco, and asked if he could move

               in.

            Sure, said his dad, but he set a condition.

            "Son," Luce remembers him saying, "if you're going to try any

               of that pot, be sure to bring it home so we can all try it

                  together."


            Luce was a dutiful son.

            He bought some marijuana and trotted back to his father's

               house, and with his dad and stepmother, he got high.

            Or rather, they did; Luce says he wanted to inhale, but he

               didn't know how.


            His hatred for his mother lingered.

               As he put it, he hated her guts.

            He even went to court to testify against her so she would

               lose custody of the other children.

            He was successful.


            Then as a teenager, Ron Luce went to a dynamic church and

               found Jesus.

            He still hated his mom, but he prayed for her.

               Fifteen years later, she accepted Jesus too.


            She never apologized to him, but there were definite changes

               in her life that showed true repentance.

            He was finally able to make his peace with her.

                                                                   #35363


      C. God has put you in a family.  What are you doing with it?

          1) Do you pray for your family?

          2) Do you talk to them about spiritual matters?

          3) This last week, did you do something considerate for

                someone in your home?  What will happen THIS week?

          4) Life is short.  Don't kick yourself by saying, "I wish I

                hadda..."  Do something now to make it a reality.



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SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:


#  965  "Christian Counseling: Putting On the Lord Jesus," by John

           MacArthur, Jr., Grace Community Church, Panorama City,

           California, Internet, 1991.


# 9558  "I Wish I Hadda...," by Justin Lookadoo, message given at

           Creation 2008 Music Festival at Mt. Union, Pennsylvania.


#35123  "Preaching The Messy Lives of The Bible," by Ron Forseth,

           www.sermoncentral.com newsletter, February 25, 2008.


#35362  "Togetherness Has Its Benefits," personal experience Of David

           Holwick.


#35363  "It Took Him Years To Get Over The Hatred," adapted from the

           article "Behind-The-Scenes With The Most Militant Christian

           Youth Crusade in America" by Jeff Sharlet, Rolling Stone

           magazine, #1024, April 19, 2007.


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