Romans 12:14-21      Getting Along -- When It Is Hard

Rev. David Holwick  ZG                                 Romans series #17

First Baptist Church                         

Ledgewood, New Jersey 

October 30, 2005

  Romans 12:14,17-21


GETTING ALONG -- WHEN IT IS HARD



  I. It's a hard, cruel world out there.

      A. Conflict abounds.


             This week a Palestinian blew himself up in an Israeli

                market, killing 5 Jews.

             A few days later, Israeli helicopters launched missiles to

                assassinate a Palestinian terrorist.

             Several civilians were also killed.


             Many suicide bombers have claimed they were doing it

                because they were avenging the death of a loved one.

             Where does it all end?


      B. Christians live in this same world.

          1) Our feelings may be identical to what non-believers feel.

              a) When we are hurt, we want to hurt back.


             Lew Smedes tells about Marcie Rosen.

             She was deserted by her husband; left without money,

                skills, or self-esteem.

             She felt unloved, and unlovable.


             But Marcie was able to get out of the sinking sand of her

                despair.

             She went to school to train for a job, and found a career

                in the marketplace where her skills were valued.

             Asked what motivated her, Marcie doesn't hesitate to say,

                 "I wanted to show the louse that he couldn't hurt me.

                     Hate gave me strength."

                                                                   #30132

          2) But our actions should be different.

              a) Jesus shows us the way.

              b) Paul agrees -

                    he tells us the negative things NOT to do,

                    but also the positive things we SHOULD do.


II. How people wrong us.

      A. Persecution is always a possibility.                       12:14

          1) Terrible stories from the early centuries of the church.

          2) Current situation with Ferdie Flores.


             Ferdie is a Filipino Baptist who works in East Timor.

                This country recently had a terrible civil war.

             It is an Asian country but most of the people are Roman

                Catholic.

             Protestants make up a very small percentage of the people.


             Ferdie has an interesting newsletter on the internet

                that highlights the troubles that many Christians face.


             In September, Ferdie had a breakthrough in one village when

                four families were converted and baptized.

             He was preaching in one of their homes when people from the

                village surrounded the house and tried to disrupt the

                   service.

             Ferdie went outside and saw a mobs running toward him from

                several directions.

             He sat down and calmly tried to answer their heated

                questions and accusations.

             Eventually they left.                                    [1]


             Yesterday I got an email from a missionary there.

                It said:


             "Please pray for brother Ferdie Flores...

              He is scheduled to be whip[ped] or flog[ged] to death

                 tomorrow.

              Please pray God will protect him and will not allow it

                 to happen."


          3) Our experience is probably more subdued.

              a) But maybe someone has it in for you because of your

                    faith.


      B. Evil happens.

          1) Rather than describe the evil things people do, Paul

                simply assumes it occurs.

              a) If we were to list it all, where would we start?

              b) Paul's focus is on our response to this evil.

          2) Our first reaction is to get even.

              a) Curse the persecutor.

              b) Get even with the evil doer.


      C. Revenge is a growth industry.

          1) Enough is Enough.


             Nan Berman set up a business in Newton, Massachusetts,

                called "Enough is Enough."

             She advertises it as "creative revenge for today's world."


             For example, a lawyer in California made the mistake of

                breaking up with his girlfriend, telling her that she

                   was "unsuitable" for him.

             Berman arranged to have a burned and messy suit sent to

                him.

             One unsympathetic boss had a cactus delivered to him with

                a sign attached: "sit on it."

             However, their most popular gift is 13 dead roses, sent in

                a ribboned black box for $25.

                                                                     #383

          2) Revenge even feels good.


             Last summer researchers in Switzerland used PET scans to

                monitor the brain activity of game players to determine

                   what motivates revenge.


             In the game, two players could either trust and cooperate

                with each other so they both earned money.

             Or one could double-cross the other and keep an unfair

                share.

             Sometimes the double-cross was deliberate; at other times,

                rules of the game dictated it.


             The victim could retaliate by fining the double-crosser

                different amounts...

             But sometimes he had to spend his own money to impose

                that fine.


             All 14 players chose revenge whenever the double-cross was

                deliberate and the retaliation free.

             12 of 14 players punished a deliberate double-cross even if

                it cost them additional money.


             The PET scans showed a brain region known to be important

                for enjoyment and satisfaction became active in those

                   players who decided to retaliate.

             It wasn't an afterglow from revenge, but satisfaction

                from anticipating it.                              #28293


III. Christians are different.   (Make that - SHOULD be different)

      A. Don't curse, but bless them.                               12:14

          1) Each negative command is paired with a positive one.

          2) Instead of seeking revenge, we should seek our enemy's

                good.

          3) We should even ask God to make their life wonderful.


      B. Do what is right.                                          12:17

          1) Be careful - take special effort at it.

          2) In eyes of everyone - what would THEY consider the

                right thing to be?


      C. Live at peace.                                             12:18

          1) In Beatitudes, Jesus pronounced a blessing on peacemakers.

              a) They are called God's children.

          2) With everyone - not just your friends, or fellow Christians,

                but any human being.

          3) Paul recognizes the limitations in a real world.

              a) If it is possible - sometimes it isn't.

              b) As far as it depends on us.

                  1> Sometimes we are open to reconciliation, but

                        they are not.

                      A> "It takes two to tango."

                  2> Nevertheless, make sure YOU are not the one holding

                        up the process.


      D. Feed your enemy.                                           12:20

          1) Paul is in total agreement with Jesus' most difficult

                teaching - love your enemies and do good to them.

          2) Leave the wrath to God.

          3) Do positive acts of kindness to your enemy.


IV. Burning coals.

      A. A reference to eternal punishment?

          1) Burning coals are often a symbol of God's judgment in

                the Old Testament.

              a) This interpretation was popular in medieval church.

          2) Can be abused - are you forgiving enemy so they'll suffer

                even more?

              a) Even the early church fathers knew this was the

                    wrong attitude.


      B. More likely a reference to enemy's sense of shame.

          1) It is actually a quote from Proverbs 25:21-22.

              a) Make person feel guilty, and God rewards you.

              b) The ancient Egyptians carried burning coals in a pan

                    on their head as a symbol of repentance.

          2) By forgiving our enemy, they will judge themselves.

          3) And maybe they will change.


  V. Overcome evil with good.


     Dr. Pennel stepped out of the door of the hospital.

        A group of men were coming toward him with a stretcher.

     "Who are you bringing?" he asked them as they lowered the

         stretcher in front of him.

     The men shrugged.  "We don't know.

        We found him lying by the side of the road.

           He is seriously hurt.

        Do you have room for him, Sahib?"


     The doctor bent over the man on the stretcher.

     He could tell from his clothing that he was a member of the Patau

        tribe, which was always at war with the surrounding population.

     "Bring him in," the doctor said.

        "For him, we have a bed."


     After the patient was settled, Dr. Pennel came to examine him.

     "Sahib," the patient moaned, trying to tear the bandage off his

         eyes.

     "Give me back my sight.  Help me to see.

         Then I can go find the man who did this to me and kill him.

      I want revenge.

         After that I do not care whether I can see or not.


     "I just want revenge.

        My enemy took my eyes.

        He will pay with his life.

     There is nothing more powerful than revenge."


     The doctor sat down beside him and said, "My friend, let me tell

        you a story.

     Many years ago the British government sent as an envoy to

        Afghanistan by the name of Captain Connoly.

     However, he never reached the capital.

        On a lonely stretch of road, he was seized by a group of outlaws.

     They took away his baggage, bound him, accused him of espionage

        and threw him in prison.

     He had no idea what would happen to him."


     "Weeks and months passed.

        The guards routinely mistreated him.

        He was given very little to eat.

     The only light in his cell came from a hole in the ceiling.

        In his misery, he had only one comfort.

     It was a little prayer book the guards allowed Captain Connoly

        to keep.

     He had received it as a farewell gift from his sister when he left

        England.

     The prayers and songs comforted him, for in them he felt the

        presence of Jesus in his cell with him."


     The prayer book also did something else.

     For you see, Captain Connoly was able to persuade the guards to

        give him a pen.

     He filled the margins of that little book with reports of his

        experience as a prisoner.

     He wrote of the mistreatment, the beatings and the starvation.

        And he also wrote of his faith that God would see him through.


     "A whole year went by.

        The last entry in the book was made by someone else.

     It said that Captain Connoly had been brought out of the prison,

        publicly flogged and then forced to dig his own grave.

     He was never seen again after that.

        No one except his captors knew of his execution.

     In vain his family and friends and the government of England

        searched for news of him, all to no avail.


     "Twenty-one years passed.

     Then one day, a British officer was sauntering along the streets

        of Buchara, a city in central Afghanistan, when he stopped in

           a second-hand store.

     Among the odds and ends, he discovered an English prayer book

        with all kinds of entries in the margins.

     There was also a name written in the back of that book, with an

        address in England.

     The officer thought that perhaps that little book might be of

        some importance to someone, so he sent it back home.


     And that is how Captain Connoly's sister learned of his fate.

     With great anguish, she read the account of his imprisonment and

        was moved by his faith in God.

     "What should I do?" she asked herself.

     The terrible injustice done to her brother cried out for revenge.

        For holy revenge.


     She was not a wealthy person, but she sent all the money that

        she could to this very hospital with these instructions:

     "Please keep a bed free at all times for a sick or wounded Afghani

        and use the money to take care of him until he regains his

           health.

     I am doing this in the memory of my brother who suffered at the

        hands of the Afghans and who died in their country."


     As you might expect, when the doctor finished his story, there

        was a heavy silence.

     The doctor put his hand on the shoulder of the blind man and said

        to him, "You, my friend, are now lying in that bed.

     That you are being cared for is the Christian revenge for the

        death of Captain Connoly."


     For the first time in his life, that Afghan soldier who so

        passionately desired revenge and who throughout his life had

           so resolutely rejected the message of Christ, sensed a power

              stronger than hate.

     It is the power of Christian love - love made real through faith

        in Christ.

                                                                   #25669



=========================================================================

SOURCES FOR ILLUSTRATIONS USED IN THIS SERMON:


[1] Ferdie Flores' internet newsletter can be found at http://www.fbc-misawa.org/missionaries/Flores.htm


#  383  "Creative Revenge For Today's World," in Coshocton [Ohio] Tribune

           newspaper, November 7, 1988, page 5.


#25669  "Revenge In Afghanistan," from sermon "Faith In Christ" by

           Rev. Lee Griess, Luther Memorial Lutheran Church; Omaha, Nebraska,

           August 24, 2003; http://www.luthermemorialomaha.org.

           Kerux Sermon #16715


#28293  "Revenge Is Indeed Sweet," Associated Press (Internet),

           August 26, 2004.


#30132  "Hate Gave Her Strength," by Lew Smedes, from sermon "Perfect Mercy"

           by Rev. Leonard J. Vander Zee of South Bend Christian Reformed Church

           in South Bend, Indiana. Kerux Sermon #21794.


These and 26,000 others are part of a database that can be downloaded,

absolutely free, at http://www.holwick.com/database.html

=========================================================================



Other illustrations with this theme:


  The 1930's in the northern Canadian prairie.

     The depths of the Great Depression.

  Jansen family were share-cropping and had just lost their farm.

  A friend told them of one across from Jud Brewster.

     Few lasted there because Jud was so mean.

  Mr. Jansen said, "I'll just kill him."


  They moved to the new farm.

  One week later, Brewster appeared at their door in a rage.

     Their chickens were bothering him, and he threatened to kill them.

  The family locked them up in the henhouse.


  Peace for a time, then he showed up again.

     "Jansen, your pigs have been in my garden.

      They'll never get in my garden again!"

  There, in Brewster's wagon, was their herd of young pigs, all dead.

     He had shot each of them.

  Without saying a word, Mr. Jansen buried the pigs.


  A few weeks later one of the Jansen boys came rushing into the house.

     "Daddy, go get a gun quick.

      Jud Brewster's pigs are in our garden!"

  The kids could already taste revenge.

     The father replied, "We won't need a gun.  Round up the pigs."


  After a lot of trouble getting them in the wagon, they headed

     over to Brewster's farm.

  "Good evening, Mr. Brewster.  Your pigs have been in my garden.

     I've brought them back."

  The color drained from Brewster's face.

     "My pigs, my pigs in your garden?"

     "That's right.  Where do you want us to put them?"

  Brewster's body sagged against the door and he said,

     "Just dump them over behind the barn."


  Jansen replied with a slight grin,

     "OK, but they'll just get out again."

  When it had sunk in the Jansen had not killed the pigs,

     Brewster clutched his hand like a dying man.

  They talked for a long time.

  Brewster gave him half the pigs to keep, and on Sunday he

     came to church.

  From that point on, he was a changed man.


  Later one of his boys asked him what he meant when he said

     he would kill Brewster when they moved by him.

  He replied,


  "Not with a gun.  I planned to do it another way -

      by heaping coals on his head.

  "That old neighbor is as dead as a doornail, just like I'd said

      he'd be.

  "And we're glad to be alive to see it."                          #877


  =====================================


  Chris Carrier of Coral Gables, Florida, was abducted when he was

     10 years old.

  His kidnapper, angry with the boy's family, burned him with

     cigarettes, stabbed him numerous times with an ice pick, then

        shot him in the head and left him to die in the Everglades.

  Six days later a hunter found him.

  Remarkably, the boy survived, though he lost sight in one eye.

     No one was ever arrested.


  In 1996, more than 22 years later, a man confessed to the crime.

     Carrier, now a youth minister, went to see him.

  He found David McAllister, a 77-year-old ex-convict, frail and

     blind, living in a North Miami Beach nursing home.


  A friend who came with Chris asked the man, "Did you ever wish you

     could tell that young boy that you were sorry for what you did?"

  Mr McAllister answered emphatically, "I wish I could."

     That was when Chris introduced himself to him.


  The first visit was awkward, but as soon as Chris saw him he was

     overwhelmed with compassion.

  It came over Chris like a wave: Why should anyone have to face

     death without family, friends, the joy of life - without hope?

  Chris couldn't do anything but offer the man his forgiveness and

     friendship.


  Carrier began visiting often, reading to McAllister from the Bible

     and praying with him.

  His ministry opened the door for McAllister to make a profession

     of faith in Jesus as his Savior.


  No arrest is forthcoming; the statute of limitations on the crime

     is long past.

  And David McAllister died three weeks after Chris's first visit.


  Chris says, "While many people can't understand how I could forgive

     David McAllister, from my point of view I couldn't NOT forgive

        him.

  If I'd chosen to hate him all these years, or spent my life looking

     for revenge, then I wouldn't be the man I am today, the man my

        wife and children love, the man God has helped me to be."

                                                                #18596



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