Rev. David Holwick
First Baptist Church
Ledgewood, New Jersey        
March 29, 1998                                       
                                                     Philippians 2:14-18

                             WHINE OR SHINE
                             ==============

  I. Don't you just hate this kind of person?

     (Calvin and Hobbes are walking through the snow:)

      Calvin:  Some people complain all the time!
                  They complain about the least little thing!
               [he holds his head and grimaces]
                  If something bugs them, they never let go of it!
               They just go on and on, long after anyone else is
                  interested!
               It's just complain, complain, complain!
                  People who gripe all the time really drive me nuts!
               You'd think they'd change the subject after a while,
                  but they never do!
               They just keep griping until you start to wonder,
                  "What's wrong with this idiot?"
               But they go on complaining and repeating what they've
                  already said!

      Hobbes:  [rolls his eyes]
               Maybe they're not very self-aware.

      Calvin:  Boy, that's ANOTHER thing that gets on my nerves!
                                                                    #4074

      A. A problem as old as humanity.
          1) Alludes to Israel's experience in the Exodus.      Deut 32:5
          2) The Israelites had a short memory.
              a) Complained about food - manna.
              b) Complained about manna - meat till they puked.
              c) Complained about water - from a rock.
              d) Complained about Promised Land - forbidden to enter.
      B. We can learn from their example.                  1 Cor 10:10-12

 II. Five types of complainers.
      A. Whiner.  David
          1) These people wake up negative.  They rise and whine.
              a) David whines all through the Psalms.
              b) The tell-tale sign of the whiner is:
                    "It's not fair.
                     I don't deserve this.
                     Everybody else gets all the breaks."
          2) Life is not fair.  God never said it would be.
              a) It will be fair in Heaven.
              b) In the meantime, whining only makes you and others more
                    miserable.
              c) Why not take positive action instead?

      B. Martyr.   Moses
          1) Passive aggression.
              a) Caused by a need to have control with the least
                    amount of vulnerability.
              b) Favorite phrase:  "No one appreciates me."
              c) Example:  Moses in Numbers 11:11-15.
          2) Rather than pity parties, state your grievances directly.

      C. Cynic.  Solomon
          1) Favorite phrase:  "Nothing will ever change."     Eccl 1:2-4
              a) A sense of superiority.
              b) Not satisfied till others agree.
          2) But things CAN change.  Jesus says so.

      D. Perfectionist.  Nagging wife in Proverbs.
          1) Nothing is ever right for this person.
              a) It is never good enough.
              b) Favorite phrase:  "Is that the best you can do?"
          2) Complaints by a perfectionist wear you down.
               Proverbs 27:15 - "A nagging wife is like water going
                  drip, drip, drip on a rainy day."
          3) Verse 15 may seem to support this attitude, but a comparison
                with Old Testament texts shows differently.
              a) Paul is not referring to perfection, but innocence and
                    integrity.
              b) We should get rid of obvious faults.
              c) And note that the emphasis is on our morality, not
                    the morality of those around us.

      E. Crusader.
          1) They have a pet cause or belief.
              a) Guerrilla warfare until they get their way.
          2) Crusaders express disagreement in unhealthy ways.
              a) They seldom take the issue to those who can resolve it.
              b) At worst, some want retribution more than resolution.
              c) At best, they want everyone to respect them, even
                    though they don't show much respect for others.
          3) They use the Gideon strategy:  creating the appearance of
                greater numbers.
              a) "I'm not the only one who feels this way."
              b) When pressed, they refuse to talk specifics.

III. Deal with it.
      A. God is patient (Exod 34:6-7), but his patience has limits.
         For a while Louis Mucciolo flew regularly between New York and
            Denver, and there were frequent delays.
         One day as his plane was waiting for takeoff, an announcement
            warned of yet another lengthy wait.
         He noticed a flight attendant at the front of the cabin, and
            with time to kill, he approached her and launched into a
               litany of all his earlier mishaps on the route.

         She listened intently.
            "Sir," she finally asked, "what is your name?"
         With visions of upgrades or free flights dancing in his head,
            he pronounced his name clearly and spelled it.
         She nodded and repeated his name carefully.
         Then she said, "I must remember that and make sure I avoid
            any flight listing you as a passenger."
                                                                    #1627
          1) Complaining can kill our relationship with God and people.
          2) We need to take an attitude check.

      B. Admit it's a problem.
          1) Not just everyone else's, but yours too.

      C. Accept responsibility for your own life.
          1) Complaining can be a way to shift blame for our own problems.
              a) We are free to choose, but not free from consequences.
              b) Nobody friendly to you?  Be friendly to them.
          2) There are three kinds of people in life:  accusers, excusers,
                 and choosers.
              a) Accusers are always going around saying "It's your fault."
                  1> (Adam and Eve)
              b) Excusers say "I'm a product of my environment.
                    It's not really my fault."
              c) The people that are really successful in life are neither
                    accusers nor excusers.  They are choosers.
                  1> They accept responsibility for their own decisions.
                  2> When they reap what they sow they take it and move
                        ahead.
                                                            (Rick Warren)
      D. Look for God's hand in circumstances.
          1) Complaining is, in essence, rebellion against God.
          2) When I complain about my circumstances that are beyond my
                control I'm really saying, "If I were God things would
                   be different."
              a) Don't question God's wisdom.
              b) Don't doubt God's care.
              c) Don't forget God's goodness.
          3) The only way you change other people is by changing yourself.
              a) Then they have to react to you differently.

      E. Practice positivity.                                         4:8
          1) Complaining is a habit.
              a) Habits are only broken by replacement with something else.
              b) Take out the negative complaining and replace it with
                    positive speaking.
                 Ephesians 4:29 - "Do not let any unwholesome talk come
                    out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for
                       building others up according to their needs,
                          that it may benefit those who listen."
          2) Control your inner anger.
              a) Arguing - do you have a combative spirit?
                  1> Be careful how you handle differences.
              b) Our approach can be Win-Lose or Win-Win.
                  1> Don't see others as opponents.
                  2> If you are truly peeved with them, confront them
                        about it.
                  3> But view them as a brother/sister in Christ.
          3) Develop an attitude of gratitude.   1 Thess 5:18

 IV. Shining.
      A. Christians should be different.
          1) Courage of apostles was noted by opponents.
          2) Early Christians so loving they were charged with incest
                and licentiousness.

      B. Positive people stand out.
          1) We should contrast with crooked world.
              a) Pure and blameless...
                  1> Not perfect, but no obvious faults.  Titus 2:7-8
              b) Harmless - not hurtful.
          2) Story of converted Ohio drug dealer.

             When I was a pastor in Ohio in 1984 my car broke down
                and I had to walk to a gas station for assistance.
             They sent a young mechanic over, and he ended up
                working on the distributor.
             He was a good mechanic, but I could tell from his
                language that he wasn't exactly "sanctified."
             (Some of you may talk like this during the week when
                your preacher isn't around.)

             When he found out I was a preacher, he told me about
                a friend of his.
             He said this guy was once the biggest drug dealer in
                Coshocton county.
             He could supply you with anything you wanted if you
                had the cash.
             But one night while he lay drunk in bed, he realized
                he was throwing his life away.
             He immediately stopped dealing in drugs and gave his
                life to Christ.
             More than this, he went to a Bible College and was
                about to become a preacher in Kentucky.

             After telling me all this, the young mechanic said:
                "It's hard to believe people can change like that.
                    I guess it's what they call being re-born."
             The drug dealer had been part of the darker side of
                society, and by changing directions he stood out.
                                                                    #4311
      C. Hold out the word of life.
          1) Hold fast / or forth...
          2) (Statue of Liberty)

      D. Pour yourself out.
          1) Feel used up?  Paul did.  (drink offering)
          2) Don't become bitter, instead keep God's perspective.
          3) We are working toward something GOOD.

===============================================
(first part adapted from Rev. Rick Warren, Saddleback Community Church, CA)


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